


Coming into Bloom

by pinkplaidmoonshine



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dating, Dirty Talk, Emotional Infidelity, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Flirting, Florist Crowley (Good Omens), Flower Language, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love at First Sight, M/M, Masturbation, Rimming, Switching, True Love, Verbal Abuse, angel/demon roleplay, thigh fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 06:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 34,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23846806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkplaidmoonshine/pseuds/pinkplaidmoonshine
Summary: Ezra Fell is trapped in a mentally abusive relationship.Crowley has loved him from a distance for much too long.Can Ezra break away for something so much better?  Or will his own fears and insecurities keep him where he is?~*~*~*~I love you.  I love you so much it’s hard to believe this is real.  That this is my life now.  That I can hold you and kiss you whenever I want.  No one else gets to say that I can’t.  I love you.  I’ll love you forever if you’ll let me.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 249
Kudos: 359
Collections: Good Omens Human AUs





	1. Lavender Roses (Love at First Sight)

Usually, we expect the first time we see the love of our life to be full of sunshine and flowers. Perhaps butterflies or doves taking off into the pink sky as the sun sets behind them and we know as time slows down around us that this beauty was set here for us. 

The day Anthony J. Crowley first saw the love of his life was hardly full of sunshine, but there were flowers as flowers were his business. Outside his new flower shop their was nothing but rain and gray skies. The city was mostly gray anyways. _Gray_ streets with _gray_ buildings as a _gray_ car goes by and splashes water onto the _gray_ sidewalk. 

Across the street a woman exited a (once again _gray_ ) building Crowley was vaguely aware was a book shop. She made a face up at the sudden downpour and patted her swollen stomach like she was trying to comfort the yet to be born child that sat in there. An odd gesture because her baby was shielded from the rain while she was not. 

After her a man also walked out of the shop and stood a polite distance away to open his umbrella. He was a soft looking man with fluffy white blonde curls and clothes that belonged in another century. Something about him brought light to all the gray around him. The man paused before he could walk away and looked at the woman with clear concern. She gave him a shaky smile and started trying to use her jean jacket to cover her head from the downpour. With very little thought at all he held out his umbrella for her with a gentle smile. The pregnant woman started to shake her head but he insisted. After many thanks the woman made her way down the street and the man went back inside the shop. 

~*~*~*~

“Hello?”

“Hello, Gabriel. I’m afraid I won’t make our lunch date.”

“What happened, dove?”

“Well, there’s a terrible storm and I seem to have misplaced my umbrella.”

There was a deeply put upon sigh on the other end of the phone. 

“Of course you have.”

“You know me! I’d loose my head if it wasn’t attached,” the bookseller chuckled nervously. “Maybe I’ll find it before the next storm. Tomorrow, dear?”

“Alright, as long as you don’t screw something up again.”

“I’ll try, dear.”

Ezra Fell hadn’t been so sure he had wanted to brave the London downpour to see Gabriel Messenger anyway. They had gotten back together not that long ago and Ezra should have been trying his hardest to _keep_ Gabriel, shouldn’t he? Perhaps he was finally getting jaded by the whole thing. They’d been dating and getting back together for nearly fifteen years now. Sometimes having Gabriel was more stressful than not having him. Ezra always had to be ready for the inevitable break up now. For a while he’d tried his hardest not to be a bother so Gabriel would stay longer. The final straw was usually Gabriel meeting someone new and saying something along the lines of “I think we should see other people.”

Eve had been a sweet girl who had bought a couple of baby books for obvious reasons. They had talked about baby names a little bit as well as her boyfriend, Adam, who wasn’t scared away by their new addition. 

After giving her his umbrella, Ezra had felt more relieved than he felt he should. Perhaps he’d put off getting a new one so he wouldn’t have to see Gabriel on rainy days. 

~*~*~*~

“Oh my. . .”

Crowley jumped and held back a yelp at the sudden intrusion. A young woman was in his shop looking curiously at him with large brown eyes. 

“Did you just fall in love?”

“Um--you see--I didn’t--ngk,” was his eloquent answer. 

“Because your aura looked very gloomy when I first walked in, then it pulsed and became pink,” she explained like talking about a person’s aura was a normal conversation starter. “That usually only happens when someone falls in love.”

He blinked at her a few times from behind his shades. 

“Um, can I help you?” Crowley finally ventured. 

“I was thinking I could help _you_ , actually,” she gestured to the Help Wanted sign in his hands. The one he’d been about to put up in the window and got distracted by beautiful, kind booksellers that made the world less gray. 

“Oh, yeah, sure. . . . Let’s talk,” he said, holding out a hand. “Anthony Crowley.”

“Anathema Device,” she introduced, taking the offered hand. 

Crowley ended up not needing to put the Help Wanted sign up after all. 

~*~*~*~

It wasn’t until Ezra was closing up and the rain had stopped that he noticed that there was a new store across the street. A flower shop that looked more modern than a flower shop had a right to be. The brick was painted black with sharp silver letters overhead proclaiming it _Eden_. The floating shelves in the wide windows showed off green leafy potted plants as well as lavish floral arrangements. 

A lanky man who was dressed all in black stepped out after turning the open sign to closed. He had wavy red hair that fell near his shoulders and was wearing sunglasses even though the sun wasn’t even out. Such a modern shop _definitely_ belonged to him. 

A woman followed him out and he politely held the door for her. She had long dark hair and wore a long green dress trimmed in black lace. She waved to the man and went to unlock a bike from a nearby lamppost. 

Ezra’s eyes went back to the man as he sauntered over to his car. The man picked his head up and looked towards Ezra’s shop. There was a pause in his steps as he looked from shop to car a couple of times. Then he spotted the bookseller watching him in the window and froze like a startled deer. Ezra looked away quickly, embarrassed to be caught watching even though there was no law against it. His eyes slowly went back to see if the florist was still watching him. Ezra wasn’t sure if he should be thankful or disappointed that the man had gotten in his car and was driving away. 


	2. Yellow Roses (Friendship)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley shouts at plants and pines for his angel. Ezra gets up the nerve to talk to the hot florist across the street.

_About 4 months later. . . ._

“Ugh, I’ve seen better leaves on a cactus you poor excuse for a fern!” Crowley glared at the plant and glanced at his watch. “You’re lucky it’s almost lunchtime. Straighten up!” He turned and picked up a succulent. “You have earned a spot at the front, but don’t go getting a big head. I see one spot and it’s the wood chipper, got it?”

He sauntered from the back room to the front and added the succulent to a row of others near the front window. 

“Don’t disappoint me,” he told the row before continuing to the wide front window of the store. 

Across the street sat a book store that always got Crowley’s attention this time of day. Just on time the door opened and a man walked out locking the door behind him. Crowley allowed a small smile to grace his face when he saw the bookseller appear. Many would probably not spare him a passing glance. Crowley had been watching him for months now. 

“Ah, it’s lunchtime, I see,” Anathema chirped behind him. 

Crowley scowled over his shoulder before turning back to watch his angel walk down the street and out of view. 

“You should go over sometime. Buy a book, as one does,” his assistant suggested. 

“Don’t read books,” he answered without looking at her. 

“Pretend you do,” Anathema shrugged. “If it gets a conversation going instead of. . . whatever this is. Longing? It’s not going to get you anywhere with Cute Book Guy.”

Crowley turned away from the window and picked up a mister. He considered misting her in the face but decided against it and turned his attention to his dry plants. Messing up her makeup wasn’t worth the earful he’d get for it. 

“What if he already has someone?” he finally asked in a small voice that didn’t suit him. 

“Then you’ll know to stop pining?”

“I’d prefer to keep the perfect life we have in my head unsullied by reality, Anathema.”

~*~*~*~

It’s probably best Crowley didn’t know that each time he watched his angel leave the shop he was meeting with his boyfriend, then. It wasn’t a perfect relationship by any means, but Ezra was doing his best to play a good boyfriend and listen to Gabriel talk about his day. In his head Ezra was thinking about _Eden_ and the fact he _still_ hadn’t gotten over there to introduce himself. He wasn’t sure exactly what was stopping him. The man who owned the shop looked. . . well, Ezra wasn’t sure if “nice” was the word. Handsome? Edgy, perhaps? Alright, he was _sexy_ , Ezra admitted to himself. He was sexy and it was a little bit intimidating for Ezra to go over and introduce himself. If Gabriel hadn’t made the first move fifteen years ago they never would have gotten together. 

“You alright, Ezra?” Gabriel asked suddenly between bites of sandwich. “You look distracted.”

Ezra looked up from his salad (Gabriel had insisted he start eating healthier) and gave a soft smile to his boyfriend. It was rare he asked Ezra about what else was going on in his life. “Was just remembering a lovely little florist shop had opened across from the bookstore. Maybe I’ll go in and get a plant or two for the shop.”

Gabriel gave a genial smile and nodded when he realized Ezra’s mood had nothing to do with him. 

_I have a boyfriend_ , Ezra told himself. _So there’s no reason to be intimidated by sexy florists with red hair and snake hips. Nothing will happen, anyways._

~*~*~*~

Crowley was fixing up some sample arrangements when he heard the front door open behind him. He didn’t bother to turn around as he trusted Anathema to get it. That is until he felt her elbow dig into his ribs. He turned to glare at her but caught the meaningful look in her dark eyes. Crowley turned around and had to hold back a gasp when he saw his angel standing among his flowers. 

“Oh, how lovely!” the man gasped, admiring a peace lily. 

“Can-” Crowley squeaked, cleared his throat and tried again. “Can we help you?” he asked, voice now a touch lower than usual. Anathema tried not to laugh at his expense. 

“I believe so. I own the bookshop across the street,” the man explained with a sweet smile. 

“Oh, do you now?” Crowley pretended this was news to him and he hadn’t been borderline stalking the man for the last few months. 

“Yes, I was just walking by and was thinking I could brighten up the place with some flowers. Maybe just a small arrangement by the register if you’d be so kind?”

“Sure, sure,” Crowley turned to get a small vase, nearly knocking over his previous arrangement in the process. 

“And I believe I have a spot for this peace lily near the front window,” he added, gesturing to the plant he’d already been fawning over. 

“Of course,” Crowley nodded. “Any preference on flowers for the arrangement?”

“Not really, just nothing too big. . . perhaps yellow since it’s so near spring?”

Crowley settled on some yellow roses with white daisies. (Friendship and purity) Nice, platonic bouquet. 

“Beautiful,” his angel beamed down at the arrangement. He looked back up at Crowley with the same smile. “How much?”

“Peace lily is twenty and the arrangement is on me.”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly--”

“Just tell people where you got it, that’s all I ask,” Crowley insisted. “Anathema will ring up your lilies.” He continued to give the bookseller instructions on how to care for his new plant and assured him he could come by anytime if he had any questions. Also that he could bring back the vase for him to refill whenever the flowers faded. 

“Oh, how rude of me! I’m Ezra Fell,” he said, holding out a friendly hand.

“Anthony Crowley,” he answered, taking the offered hand in his. “Just call me Crowley.”

He turned and introduced himself to Anathema as well who answered with a bright smile.

“Nice to meet you, Crowley and Anathema,” Ezra said, picking up his flower and trying to decide how to also carry the peace lily across the street. 

Anathema dug her elbow into Crowley’s ribs again and that was getting old very fast. She motioned her eyes toward their struggling patron and mouthed the words “help him you dumbass.”

“Here, I got it,” Crowley picked up the peace lily and started to show him out of the store. 

“You’re too kind!”

“Just across the street, no trouble,” he tried to downplay his chivalry as he pushed the door open with his shoulder. 

It was a cluttered little bookshop but Crowley found an empty spot by the window for the peace lily while Ezra set the roses by his register. 

“Ok, if your name is Ezra Fell then why’s it called A.Z. Fell & Co?” he asked.

“Arthur Zachary Fell was my grandfather,” Ezra explained. “It’s an old family business, you see.”

Crowley nodded his understanding. He started to reach for a book but brought his hands back when he realized how dirty he was. Downside to potting plants most of the day. 

“Enjoy the flowers,” Crowley said, putting his hands in his pockets. “Maybe I’ll see you next Monday?”

“Of course,” Ezra beamed. “Mind how you go.”

~*~*~*~

The moment Crowley left Ezra looked up the meaning of the flowers and smiled. 


	3. Red Gardenia (Secret Love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley is still a pine tree (is that a pun since he’s a florist?) and Ezra has to deal with the inner turmoil of being attracted to his new friend. This is basically two idiots dancing around their feelings for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotional infidelity, flirting, and some masturbation at the end of this chapter. I've never let anyone read any of the smut I've written so I hope it's ok. I'm working my way up to the explicit stuff so be patient with me.

“Where did these come from?”

Ezra turned to see Gabriel glaring at the yellow roses by his register like they had personally offended him. 

“I got them from the flower shop across the street, aren’t they lovely?” Ezra said, going over to stand beside his boyfriend. “They mean friendship and purity.”

He saw Gabriel relax as he explained the meaning. Gabriel nodded and fixed his scarf. “Ready to go then, dove?”

“Oh, yes,” Ezra said, following Gabriel out of the bookshop. Once Ezra had locked up he took Gabriel’s hand as they walked towards the restaurant. Ezra couldn’t help but think back on Gabriel’s face when he’d seen the flowers and gave a little chuckle. 

“What are you laughing about?” Gabriel asked, not really looking at him.

“Were you a little jealous? Seeing the flowers?” Ezra couldn’t help but tease. 

“Of course not,” Gabriel said with a sniff. “We both know I don’t have to worry about someone stealing _you_ away.”

The smile fell from Ezra’s face and he swallowed his laughter. 

“Q-quite right.”

~*~*~*~

Ezra started coming into the flower shop weekly for fresh flowers for his front desk. 

Crowley was always careful to keep the meanings of the flowers platonic. He wasn’t sure how much Ezra knew about flower language, but he did own a bookstore and he could look it up if needed. Best stick to white lilies (purity), pink tulips (good wishes & friendship), and yellow roses (friendship) until they got to know each other better. Occasionally he snuck in some flowers as fillers that mean more, though. Yellow acacia could mean true friendship, but also secret love. (Crowley had nearly had a breakdown after he sent those, but it seamed that Ezra took them to mean true friendship or he just didn’t mention it.) Mauve carnations showed dreams of fantasy and Crowley had been harboring quite a few fantasies about Ezra since he first saw him. 

It was nice getting to chat with Ezra every Monday instead of just watching him go to lunch each day from his window. Getting to know who he really was only made him fall more in love. It was something he’d been afraid of: would the reality hold up to the fantasy? All he had known about Ezra was that he was kind and he was beautiful. Now he knew Ezra was also fussy, anxious, and a bit of a bastard. He not only dressed like he was from another time, he talked like it too. Crowley had never met someone who used the word “tickety-boo” be it ironically or not. Ezra was even better than Crowley had imagined. 

In spite of the messages he sent with his flowers Crowley had started dressing a bit differently on Mondays. He started wearing his tightest shirts with the lowest cuts just so he could see Ezra give him what he had dubbed “the gay once over.” One day he had to work on potting a bunch of red gardenias that had just come in so he had to wear one of his usual black tank tops and meet Ezra in the front covered in dirt. He wasn’t even trying and he probably got the best reaction out of Ezra yet. 

“Oh _good lord_ ,” Ezra said, eyes sweeping over Crowley’s dirty body. He wasn’t sure if he was appalled or turned on. Or both. 

Ezra rarely felt sexual attraction upon meeting people. Gabriel was one of the few. Then he met Crowley with his red hair, sunglasses, and tight clothes. Going into the flower shop weekly shouldn’t feel like a dirty little secret. He hadn’t done anything with Crowley besides. . .admire. . . and maybe flirt a little. One time upon seeing Crowley wearing a red shirt that was only a little more than halfway buttoned he nearly burst out the words “I have a boyfriend!” to show Crowley (and perhaps remind himself) that they were only friends and he most certainly was not thinking about kissing those dimples and running his hands through the dusting of hair on Crowley’s chest, thank you very much. Ezra wasn’t completely sure why he never brought up the subject of Gabriel to Crowley. It felt like it would ruin the little bubble they’d made somehow. What they did was harmless. He wasn’t sleeping with Crowley, obviously. . . but his mind wanted to tell him he was still cheating on Gabriel somehow. 

Crowley hadn’t been what Ezra expected upon meeting him. He expected (or perhaps hoped?) that Crowley would be a jerk, somehow. If he’d had a bad personality it would have made things easier on Ezra. But, no, Crowley had to be sweet and funny. He talked big but was full of anxiety. He glued coins to the sidewalk outside of his front window to amuse himself and he yelled at his plants to keep them in shape. Crowley would be very easy to fall in love with, Ezra had realized. 

Now, looking over Crowley with his arms exposed and covered in soil from potting gardenias. . .

_Fuck_. He had a date with Gabriel that night. His boyfriend. Yes. _Not_ the sexy florist who he currently wanted to pin to the nearest flat surface and--

“Sunflowers alright today? Just got some in,” Crowley broke into his thoughts.

“Oh, that sounds nice, Crowley! Perhaps it will bring good luck for sunny weather.”

“In London?”

“True,” Ezra chuckled. “I didn’t know you had another tattoo,” he added, eyeing his bare arm. 

From the back of Crowley’s right arm was the tattoo of a wing that went over his shoulder and down part of his arm nearly to the elbow. 

“Yeah, got another one, too.”

“Really? Where?”

“You’ll have to buy me a drink first,” he answered with a smirk and an arched eyebrow. 

Ezra turned pink and looked away coyly. 

~*~*~*~

His breath caught when he made it back to the bookstore to look up the meaning of sunflowers. Adoration. Was Crowley saying he _adored_ Ezra? He hadn’t been sure since the beginning if Crowley was using flower language or not in the flowers he sent or if he was just using what was in season. Perhaps he was just making up this little romance in his head and Crowley wasn’t interested in the slightest. . .

Even though he had a date with Gabriel that night he opted out of going back home with him. Ezra feigned exhaustion which was really far from the truth. He wanted sex. . . but he feared he’d call out the wrong name in a moment of passion. 

Instead, Ezra chose to sink into a warm bubble bath with a glass of wine just within reach. He closed his eyes and let himself think about Crowley. About his tattoos and long red hair. . . Those long legs that sauntered and hips that swayed. . . He wished he knew what Crowley’s eyes looked like but had been too polite to ask just yet. Ezra was sure he had beautiful eyes just like the rest of him. 

Ezra could feel he’d gotten hard under the water and bit his lip.

_Oh, I shouldn’t. . . but I will._

He got some extra soap on his hands and allowed one to wander down his chest and bellow the bubbles while the other ran over his sensitive nipples. Ezra leaned his head back, relaxing into the feeling of a gentle hand working his hard flesh. He let his imagination wander to what other movements Crowley’s hips could do, what his hands would feel like in place of his own, what beautiful sounds he would make. . . It didn’t take long for him to come, gasping for Crowley. 

Once the high wore off Ezra was left in the cooling water with a ball of guilt in his chest. 

~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, Crowley was also running a lubed hand over his hard cock. He’d loved the way Ezra had looked at him that day. That was a gay once over if he’d ever seen one. Also that soft little “oh good lord” like Crowley had done something obscene. He’d nearly made a move right then. He wanted to ask if Ezra wanted to come home with him and find out where that other tattoo was. 

He pumped his hand over his length thinking about what could have happened. Thinking of sweet kisses and sinking his hands into soft skin. He came apart thinking about getting to pull those white-blond curls as Ezra begged for more.

“So good to me, angel,” he praised the fantasy just before it floated away into the darkness. 

Ezra never mentioned a boyfriend and he didn’t wear a ring save for the one on his pinky. Crowley had checked when they’d finally met. He also checked out his ass but that was besides the point. . . of course, he had been fantasizing about being inside that perfect ass just moments ago. Maybe next time it wouldn’t have to be a fantasy?

Monday. He’d make a move on Monday. 


	4. Yellow Carnations (Rejection)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley meets someone who is picking out an anniversary gift. . . Some truths come out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some angst and jealousy in this chapter. Sorry in advance. It gets better by the end of next chapter.

Crowley wasn’t really paying attention when a tall, handsome man entered the flower shop. He was more distracted by the arrangement he had started working on for Ezra. 

Lavender roses and baby’s breath. (Love at first sight and everlasting love) The sight of them nearly threw him into a panic attack. Was it too much? It wasn’t red roses or red tulips but it was still a declaration of love. He still had no idea if Ezra had been looking up the meanings. . . Perhaps he should bring up flower language before Ezra left for the bookstore?

“This is sort of an anniversary for me and my partner. We got back together a year ago today,” the man’s voice cut in on Crowley’s panicked thoughts. He almost turned around and snapped at him that he was having a crisis so please keep it down. 

Anathema congratulated him and gave him some options. He ended up going with a mix of white and red roses which symbolized unity. 

“The white looks like Ezra’s hair, too,” the handsome motherfucker added, pulling out his wallet. 

It was like all the air was suddenly sucked out of the shop. 

“Ezra?” Crowley turned around slowly to look at the customer. “Ezra Fell from the bookstore?”

“Oh yes,” he gave Crowley a winning smile. Crowley hated him on sight. “He comes in here for flowers regularly. Says you have the best ones so I decided to get him the best.”

“Good to hear it!” Anathema said brightly but Crowley could see the strain in her smile. 

“You said you’d been together a year now?” Crowley asked with curious raise of his eyebrow.

“Yeah, we broke up a couple times but we always get back together,” he shrugged. “I suppose we’d have been together fifteen years if we hadn’t broken up. But it’s like they say: if you love something let it go, if it comes back it’s yours to keep.”

He took the flowers and thanked them before leaving. Crowley watched him go in shock. 

“A boyfriend,” he sighed. “ _Of fucking course_ he has a boyfriend.”

“Crowley, honey--” Anathema started, touching his arm in a calming gesture. 

“And of course he’s bloody gorgeous with his dark hair and purple eyes! Fuck!”

“Take some deep breaths, Crowley,” she said, taking his arms and coaching him into a calmer state. 

Once he calmed down he put the flowers he’d been working on in the fridge and made a new arrangement for Ezra. He couldn’t send a declaration of love _now_. Either Ezra would laugh at him or he’d only get pity. Maybe it was a blessing that Ezra’s partner came in before he made a fool of himself. 

“If Ezra comes in I’m busy. Those are for him,” Crowley gestured to the bouquet before going to the back room to take out his broken heart on some unsuspecting plants. 

~*~*~*~

Anathema had been with another customer when Ezra came in. She only had time to tell him that Crowley was busy but the flowers on the desk were for him. Ezra was disappointed he couldn’t talk to Crowley but smiled at the little mixture of daffodils and yellow carnations he’d sent. 

That is, until he found out the meaning behind yellow carnations. 

Rejection. 

He frowned at the page before checking the meaning of daffodils. Perhaps they meant happier things. . .

Uncertainty, chivalry, unrequited love, return my affection. . .

Well, they certainly meant _a lot_ of things. The bright side was they could also mean new beginnings. 

Ezra tried to brush it off at first but he was sure Crowley knew flower language. He’d only sent him messages of friendship, happiness, and (last time) adoration. The thought of the sunflowers still made him smile and he’d been looking forward to seeing something of the same vein this week. 

But why did it matter anyway? He had a boyfriend and they’d been together a year today without a breakup. That was quite a milestone for them, honestly. . .

But he’d been enjoying the light flirting and hints of more through the language of flowers. . .

Then, another bouquet of red and white roses suddenly obstructed his view of the page. 

“Oh! How lovely!” he looked up and saw Gabriel was holding the flowers. 

“Happy Anniversary dove!”

Ezra took them excitedly and gave Gabriel a kiss. Anything to take his mind off the daffodils and yellow carnations. 

“Beautiful! Where did you get them?” Ezra asked. 

“Someplace near my office. Thought they looked better than the place across the street,” Gabriel explained. 

Ezra tried not to act disappointed. If they weren’t some of Crowley’s flowers were they really the best?

“I’ll put these in some water, then. Reservations at seven?”

“Six thirty.”

“Right.”

~*~*~*~

It was the end of the day when Anathema closed up and went to the back to check on Crowley. She knew him well enough to know he needed to have some time alone before she tried to talk to him. Anathema found him between two rows of flowers, sitting on the floor with his back to the wall. Crowley was resting his forehead on his arms which were folded across his bent knees. The anger he had felt at first had subsided leaving behind sadness, heartache, and a touch of jealousy. 

“I see we are wallowing in self pity,” Anathema said as she made a place for herself in front of him. His aura was grayer than the first time she’d met him and it was mixed with envy green. 

“Fuck off,” he answered, not even picking his head up. 

There was a stretch of silence as Anathema found her words. 

“I didn’t know, either. His aura never said anything about being in love.”

This made Crowley pick up his head and rest his chin on his arm. Crowley wasn’t sure where he fell in the occult belief system. He was more an atheist than anything. Crowley liked Anathema’s take on things, though. It might be out there, but he felt like their wasn’t any proof aura’s _didn’t_ exist, so why knock it?

“It always told me he was attracted to you, though,” she continued. “I would have said if he had feelings for someone else.”

“Are you just trying to make me feel better?”

“No. I’m saying maybe. . .”

“Maybe he doesn’t really love his boyfriend?” Crowley cocked his head at her. 

“It’s possible,” she shrugged. “Aura’s aren’t an exact science. Maybe his attraction to you over road it.” 

Another awkward silence. 

“Maybe I’ll just get laid,” Crowley sighed. 

“You really think that’ll help?” Anathema arched a dark eyebrow at him. 

He paused to think about it. He’d probably wish the other person was Ezra. They’d probably have blonde hair, hazel-blue eyes, and a soft build. They still wouldn’t be him. He’d call out the wrong name for sure. . . if he even bothered to remember their name. . . Crowley wrinkled his nose in distaste. 

“Nah. Will probably make it worse somehow.”

“I suggest chocolate ice cream from the carton and some red wine.”

“Yeah, that’s a slightly better coping mechanism, I guess.”

“As long as you don’t go overboard with the wine, of course.”

“No promises.”

~*~*~*~

“Can we talk?”

Crowley froze upon seeing Ezra in his shop on a Tuesday. . . the day after he had found out the object of his affection was very much taken. Just looking at him made Crowley’s heart ache. He blinked a few times to get his brain back online before nodding. 

“Sure, sure,” he motioned to the back room and signaled to Anathema that he wouldn’t be up front for a bit. 

It took them a moment of not really looking at each other for Ezra to begin his explanation. 

“I’ve been checking the flower meanings each time you send an arrangement,” he burst out. “Is that stupid? It’s stupid, isn’t it?”

“No, no it’s not!” Crowley assured him, shaking his head. “I’ve been. . . I _have_.”

Ezra looked relieved for a moment before remembering the last bouquet. His happy face fell. 

“Yellow carnations, then?” he asked softly. 

“Oh. . . I. . . _fuck_ , I’m sorry,” Crowley grimaced. “That was passive aggressive of me, wasn’t it?”

“What happened?”

“I, um. . . I met your boyfriend,” he explained, looking down. “Rejection was more about you rejecting me than the other way around. After we’d been, well, flirting? At least _I_ was flirting. Was making plans to ask you on a date--”

“You were?” Ezra’s eyes grew bright and a sad smile crossed his face. 

“Yeah, I um. . . Yeah. . .” Crowley blushed a little at the genuine excitement in Ezra’s voice.

“Then I found out you were in a long term relationship and, well. . . it hurt, is all. You don’t owe me anything for being nice to me and I want to still be friends, of course. . .” _If friendship is all I ever get from you I’ll be happy. If_ he _makes you happy I’ll be happy for you._ “Was more angry at myself than anything.”

There was a tense silence between them as Ezra tried to put his thoughts together. 

“And the daffodils? I looked them up and they mean so many things I got even more confused. . .”

“It’s not obvious now?” There was a bite to Crowley’s words Ezra had never heard before. 

_Unrequited love_. Ezra decided not to voice it, but it was clear by Crowley’s sudden prickly attitude. 

“I’m sorry, really I am. I should have told you about Gabriel, but . . . I was flirting, too. I was afraid it would stop or you’d accuse me of leading you on. Well, I _was_ leading you on, wasn’t I? Or does it count when I’m interested? But I _shouldn’t_ be interested because I’m already seeing someone else! Oh dear. . . ”

“Hey now,” Crowley visibly softened during Ezra’s speech and put a hand on his frantic friend’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay. I’m not gonna ask you to leave him for me. But it does change things a bit. . . I like what we’ve got going on, but I don’t know if I feel right about the flirting when you’re with someone.”

“Understood,” Ezra’s voice cracked as he spoke. Ezra gave a shaky sigh. He could feel a prickle behind his eyes that said they were probably already turning pink with tears. 

“Don’t, please,” Crowley moved his hand from Ezra’s shoulder to his cheek, brushing away a free tear with his thumb. For a moment Ezra expected a kiss. A kiss that he would easily return. 

“I just-I’m so confused!” Ezra wailed. “I have feelings for you but I’ve only ever dated Gabriel. Even during break ups he dated other people but I never bothered because no one else could put up with me--”

“Stop right the fuck there,” Crowley’s face was creased with anger. “Who told you that?”

“It’s _true_ ,” Ezra insisted pulling Crowley’s hand from its warm home on his cheek. “Sometimes he needed a break and-and to be with someone else for a while. Then he always came back eventually.”

“ _He_ told you that, did he? You put up with that for _fifteen years_?” he growled. “You’re staying with someone who’s got no idea what he’s got.”

“I don’t know if I know who to be without him, though. We’ve been together for so long and I already said I’ve never dated anyone else--”

“Yes and dating is scary, I’ll give you that. It’s why I rarely do it. Putting yourself out there and letting someone get to know you so they can decide if you’re loveable? Fucking terrifying, that is.” Crowley took a deep breath and reached forward, taking Ezra’s trembling hand. “But there’s better out there, I promise you that. Someone who won’t talk down to you or leave you when something else comes along because you’re all they need. You shouldn’t need to take breaks if they’re the one, right?”

Ezra took a shaky breath and looked down at their hands. 

“If I left him for someone else what does that say about me?” he asked softly. 

“It says he’s not the one,” was the simple answer. 

Ezra picked his head up and took a step forward. His eyes were moving between the shades that kept Crowley’s eyes hidden and his thin lips. Another step and he started to push himself up so their noses were barely brushing.

“Hey there! Anathema, was it?” Gabriel’s voice boomed through the shop and into the back room. 

Ezra and Crowley froze in place, not even breathing for fear Gabriel would hear them. 

“That’s right,” came Anathema’s reply. “How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you’d seen Ezra. He’s not at the book shop.”

“Oh yes, you _just_ missed him.”

Crowley silently thanked his friend for her ability to cover for them. 

“All right, I’ll see if I can track him down,” Gabriel replied with a sigh. 

In the back room both men gave their own sigh of relief to hear Gabriel had gone. Crowley looked down at Ezra. The urge to pull him close and kiss his lips was still strong. If it hadn’t been for Gabriel he probably would have let Ezra close those last few inches between them. Crowley could see the conflict in Ezra’s eyes after hearing his partner’s voice. For a few seconds it had felt like Gabriel hadn’t been an issue until he came barreling back into their lives again. The only thing Crowley could do was take a step back and let them both breath. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known that Gabriel *did* try the florist by his office but they weren’t as good. What was he gonna do, tell Ezra he was right? Pfft.


	5. Pink Camellia (Longing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sex between Ezra/Gabriel in this chapter but it's short. Also has a sexy dream that I kept pretty tame. Later I plan to make either an explicit chapter or a short side story about them making it a reality ;)

“Thanks, by the way. For covering for us yesterday,” Crowley said, taking a stack of pots from Anathema. 

“Don’t worry about it. You can pay me back by telling me what happened between you and Ezra while I keep the other man from finding you,” Anathema said with a knowing smile. 

“I’m not--he’s not--we didn’t--ngk,” was the panicked reply. 

“Yeah yeah, I get it. Just spill.”

Crowley sighed. Deeply. 

“He knows flower language so he came in to talk about the yellow carnations in his last arrangement.”

Anathema hissed through her teeth in sympathy. 

“I. . . I, um, sort of admitted how I felt about him.” 

“And. . .?”

“He feels. . . similarly. Sounds like,” he shrugged. “We talked a little about his boyfriend, then--”

“Wait, he knows how you feel about him and proceeded to talk about his current partner?” she asked, eyebrow raised in distaste at the turn of events. 

“They weren’t good things. He’s trapped in a shit relationship, Anathema.” 

“Is he an abuser?” she frowned. “His aura told me he wasn’t as nice as he seamed. . .”

“Not sure if he actually has ever raised a hand to Ezra, but he’s got him convinced he can’t do better than him. I told him he damn well could.”

“You don’t think. . .” she smiled a little. 

“What? That he’ll break up with the bastard to be with me?” he gave a depreciating snort at that. “If I could be so lucky. . .”

“He already said he feels something for you, didn’t he?”

Crowley nodded slowly but wouldn’t look at her. “I’m just trying not to get my hopes up too high.” _Last time I did that my heart was broken._ “Even if he does get the courage to break up with Gabriel who says he’ll be looking for something else right away?”

“The way you two act around each other I’d say he was already looking.”

~*~*~*~

The last couple of dates with Gabriel had not lead to sex for different reasons. Once he’d been preheated with thoughts of Crowley, the other time he was fretting over the yellow carnations which again had to do with Crowley. . . Gabriel was getting frustrated now and Ezra gave in. He hoped having sex with Gabriel would remind him that he was the one he wanted. It did not. 

They used Gabriel’s favorite position which was taking Ezra from behind. (Of course they only did Gabriel’s favorites but that’s another story.) Ezra soon realized this was a mistake. This way he could easily picture it was _anyone_ pounding into him from behind and he could not keep his imagination under control. He kept thinking of lightly freckled hands on his shoulder and hip. Of red hair swinging near his shoulders at each thrust. Ezra touched himself when he realized his lover was close. 

“ _Crow_ \--” he bit the pillow to stifle the word that begged to slip out as he came. 

~*~*~*~

He had the most beautiful dream that night, though. About a garden, a snake, and an apple tree. The snake turned into a demon who looked like Crowley with yellow eyes and black wings. They didn’t know what to think of each other at first. Somehow Ezra knew they couldn’t be. That he was forbidden from being with this demon because he was an angel. The demon offered him an apple which he refused. Then he offered a kiss saying a kiss from an angel would perhaps save his wicked soul. Ezra gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. The demon’s face fell when he realized his wings were still black but then asked for another. When that one didn’t work he asked for more. Soon the angel was pinned to the apple tree with his robes pushed above his waist as the demon made love to him. 

~*~*~*~

Ezra opened his eyes and looked up at the dark ceiling of Gabriel’s bedroom. He glanced to one side and saw his boyfriend’s broad back facing him. He’d nearly called Gabriel the wrong name last night. Before that he’d nearly kissed another man. This was becoming unfair to Gabriel more than anything and Ezra just couldn’t deny any longer that he wanted Crowley. 

As many times as they’d broken up he’d never been the one to do the actual breaking up before. It was always Gabriel. He’d almost become a professional at breaking up with Ezra. He’d come in with a box of Ezra’s stuff that had been at his flat, get everything out of Ezra’s that belonged to him, and put his key on the front desk. Then, after his newest flame died out, Gabriel was back in the bookshop and asking to get back together and, well, who was Ezra to refuse? 

The next day, after fretting all night, Ezra still wasn’t sure exactly what he needed to say to Gabriel even when he asked to talk to him when he got off of work. 

Ezra went to his front window and stared across the street at _Eden_. Crowley was outside, watering a large square pot that held tall green bells-of-Ireland to represent luck. Ezra was dying to go over and talk to him more. After their last interaction Ezra was afraid if he saw Crowley again he would end up doing something he would regret. . . afraid he wouldn’t be able to hold back and kiss him before running his hands through that beautiful hair. . . Ezra shook his head to clear the thought. He _definitely_ wasn’t going to go back to _Eden_ until he had broken up with Gabriel. There, another incentive to go ahead and do it. No Crowley until Gabriel wasn’t a problem anymore. 

When he went to Gabriel’s flat at the end of the day Ezra was still lost, but hoped it would come to him when he started talking. 

“Gabriel, we need to talk, if you would be so kind,” he said. There, that sounded like a good opener. 

“Yeah, Ezra, I agree,” Gabriel said as he sat down on the couch across from Ezra. 

Those words made him want to abort mission right away. He forced his nervous hands to stay on his knees and plowed forth. 

“Listen, Gabriel,--”

“Are you cheating on me, Ezra?” Gabriel cut across him like a knife.

“What--of course not! Why would you think that?” _Considered, yes. Acted on, no. Does that count?_

“For a moment last night it sounded like you forgot whose bed you were in. Last time I checked my name did not start with _Crow_.”

Ezra stuttered a few times, unsure how to continue. This breakup was already going off the rails. 

“I. . . I haven’t cheated on you, but. . . I _have_ met someone.” There. He’d said it. In fact this was the usual way that Gabriel broke up with _him_. It felt kind of good to throw it back at him. 

“I see,” Gabriel straightened his back and looked down at him. “And you’re entertaining the fantasy that he could _possibly_ want you back?” He said it like that was the most ridiculous thing Ezra could come up with. 

Ezra could only stare blankly at him, unsure of how to continue. 

“Is it the florist? The one who sends flowers weekly?”

Ezra looked down and twisted his fingers in anxiety. 

“I bet it is! He’s just doing that for a little free advertisement. It’s got nothing to do with you. He just showed you a little kindness and you fell in love.”

Ezra knew that wasn’t true, not really. Crowley had said himself that he was attracted to him and had put thought behind the flowers he sent. But Gabriel was always good at putting doubt in his mind. It was why Ezra had such low self esteem and had never tried to get out of this toxic relationship.

“I don’t want you going over there anymore.”

Ezra picked his head up and blinked at him. “What?”

“You heard me,” Gabriel said with finality. “If you want us to work you’ve got to get your head out of the clouds. You can’t go over there and ogle the florist.”

“No, Gabriel, I--”

“I’ve seen him and he is _way_ out of your league, sunshine. It’ll only lead to a broken heart on your part.”

Ezra always hated when Gabriel called him _sunshine_. It was his way of saying _stupid_ without outright saying it. All at once Ezra was sick of the way Gabriel treated him. He was sick of the insults and backhanded comments. He was sick of expecting Gabriel to leave him when the next pretty person caught his eye. He was sick of feeling like he wasn’t good enough. _He was sick of Gabriel_. 

Ezra sat up and looked Gabriel right in the eye before speaking again. 

“I’m breaking up with you.”

“. . . What?”

Gabriel frowned and his neck craned back like he’d been physically struck by the statement. 

“You heard me,” Ezra said, eyes narrowed in anger. 

“Hold. . . hold on a minute,” Gabriel rubbed his forehead like a sudden headache had just come over him. “I just told you that the florist is a _fantasy_. He’s not interested.” He scrunched up his face and shrugged as if to say “obviously, stupid!”

“And say he _was_ interested,” he continued with an eye-roll. “It won’t last! I give it a week if he does agree to go out with you, honestly.”

“How am I supposed to know if I don’t try?” asked Ezra. “And, really, I’m tired of-of _this_!” he said, motioning between them. “This run around we do! I’m sick of being yanked around whenever someone else catches your eye! Fifteen years and no commitment wears on a person, Gabriel, and I’m tired of it.”

“You’re just going to embarrass yourself,” sighed Gabriel, seeming to completely ignore the last part of Ezra’s argument. “ _You_ with _him?_ He’s got a face tattoo!”

“True, he looks rough, but he’s really very sweet,” Ezra couldn’t help the little wistful smile on his face. “And you’re wrong, he does like me back.”

“Oh, so he asked you to break up with me and get with him?” he asked, violet eyes narrow.

“No. He said I should break up with you because you’re an asshole who’s got no idea what he has,” Ezra stood up. “And that’s just what I’m doing.”

Without another word Ezra went through Gabriel’s flat and picked up everything that was his and put it in his overnight bag which he had luckily left another time he’d been there. He left his key beside the door and took off the keys to the bookshop and his flat from Gabriel’s key ring. 

“I’ll gather your things and send them to your office,” he said flatly as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're as proud of Ezra as I am! :)


	6. Lily of the Valley (Return to Happiness)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sweet, happy chapter after all the drama!  
> *slaps roof of fic* this bad boy can fit so many florist tropes!

Crowley turned to see Ezra entering the shop and walking with purpose to the front desk. He had a box of things in his hands that he set down on the counter. 

“How would one use floriography to tell someone to fuck off?”

“Who are you and what have you done with Ezra Fell?”

“I want a bouquet for my _ex-_ boyfriend, Gabriel,” he explained, a small smile on his lips. 

“Ex-boyfriend?” Crowley smiled broadly. Something started blooming in his chest. It felt like hope, but also pride. “You broke up with him?”

“Yes and I believe orange lilies and yellow carnations are in order.” (Hatred and rejection)

“It wasn’t pretty, I take it,” Crowley said as he gathered the suggested flowers. He also added marigold (pain and grief) and hydrangea (heartlessness) to the mix. 

“It was the last thing he expected,” Ezra said proudly. “I had to spell it out to him like he was a child. Can you believe he had the audacity to argue with me about it?”

Crowley hadn’t spent much time around Gabriel but that seemed pretty on brand. 

“You want to add a card?” he asked simply, sliding one across the counter with a pen. 

“Yes, he was always rubbish with flower language. I don’t want him thinking this is a reconciliation.”

In his neat script he wrote “I do desire we would be better strangers.” Crowley couldn’t help but snort at that. It was just like Ezra to quote Shakespeare on a _fuck you_ bouquet. 

“I suppose you deliver?”

“Yeah, I have a guy but I might just take this one myself. I never get to do fuck off bouquets.”

Ezra gave a hiss through his teeth. “I’m not sure that’s. . . wise. . . You see, he knows about you.”

Crowley frowned. “Knows about me? How so?”

“We’ve broken up before, as you know, but it was always because _he_ found someone else. This is the first time it was because. . . because _I_ found someone else.”

Their eyes met and Crowley had the urge to lean across the counter and kiss Ezra. He almost gave into the urge. Instead he slid his hand across the linoleum and lifted his fingers over Ezra’s. The slim fingers hesitated, shaking in the air before slowly coming the rest on top of that soft hand. 

“Maybe that means you’ve broken the cycle? That you can finally try to find something better?”

Ezra looked down at their hands with a smile. “Yes. . . I think I have. I don’t think I can go back this time. I don’t _want_ to go back this time.”

“Did you know white roses can mean new beginnings?” Crowley burst out. He turned around and took down a vase. “They also mean I am worthy of you. Lavender roses. . . those can mean love at first sight or enchantment. Lily of the valley is a return to happiness.”

Crowley slipped the now full vase across the counter to Ezra. 

“So these are for you. I don’t want to move too fast so I’d like you to take a couple of weeks. . . but when you’re ready, I’d like to be the reason you don’t look back.”

_Oh dear, I might already be in love with you. . . ._

Ezra smiled brightly, eyes going soft. It was his turn to reach across the table and take Crowley’s hand. 

“Thank you, darling,” he said softly before pressing a kiss to the back of Crowley’s hand. “That’s very kind of you.”

Crowley made some mumbling sounds that weren’t quite words and tried not to pass out. 

~*~*~*~

Ezra admired his flowers in lieu of reading most of the day. It was a larger arrangement than Crowley had ever sent him. . . but it was probably because it was for him with out any pretense. He also hadn’t held back on the flower meaning this time. They basically said “I loved you at first sight. I hope I am worthy and can make you happy again.”

He loved how Crowley had approached the situation. Letting Ezra know he wanted him, but only when he was ready. It was a nice change. 

Crowley didn’t ask Ezra to break up with Gabriel for him. He asked Ezra to do it for himself. He’d been clear about not expecting anything from Ezra even though he was very much interested in him. In the end it was a mixture of both that made Ezra go through with it. 

“Oh my! What a lovely bouquet!”

Ezra jumped, too lost in thought to hear the door open. “Oh, Madame Tracy, how are you?”

“Doing fine, where did these come from?” she asked, giving them a sniff. 

“Um, across the street actually. _Eden_ ,” he explained. 

“But who sent them? Your boyfriend?”

This made Ezra’s face go red. “I just broke up with my boyfriend, but these are from, well. . .”

“An interested party?” Tracy asked, well drawn eyebrows arching. 

He nodded with a shy smile. He supposed that was the best way to describe Crowley right now. 

“Well look at you! They’re just lining up for you, aren’t they, Mr. Fell?”

“Oh, hardly. . . He’s just giving me a little time between.”

She nodded sagely. “Best to let the hurt go before going into something new, I understand. . . Who is he? Your suitor?”

“The florist at _Eden_ , actually. Anthony Crowley.”

She blinked at him for a moment. “I never would have put you two together. . .” she said carefully. 

“Me neither, honestly,” Ezra said, looking wistfully away. “Who knew someone quite so handsome would be interested in someone like me?”

“I mean the fact he looks a bit. . . rough around the edges, I suppose?” Tracy explained. “What with the tattoos and sunglasses and all black clothes.”

“He’s much kinder than first impressions would say,” he said, blushing. 

Ezra realized in that moment that Gabriel might be out of his life, but not out of his head. Each time he talked down to himself that was Gabriel talking. He’d have to work on that. . .

~*~*~*~

Anathema admired the fuck off bouquet for Gabriel as Crowley relayed the story for her. 

“I did the right thing, didn’t I?” he asked, pacing the length of the back room. “Not just swooping in?”

“Yeah, I think you did it right,” she assured him. “He’s been with the guy a while so I’m sure he needs time. Putting the ball in his court was the best thing you could do.”

“Yeah,” Crowley nodded but continued to pace. “I mean, his old boyfriend sounded pushy. I definitely don’t want to be pushy.”

“He’s interested, that much is clear, right?”

“Yeah. . . that’s the part that makes me worry about waiting. He basically broke up with Gabriel because of me, he said. Is _not_ moving in the best move?”

“What did he say when you asked him to take some time for himself?”

“. . . He thanked me. . .”

“Then you made the right decision.”

~*~*~*~

One of the best things about whenever Ezra and Gabriel broke up was that Ezra could eat and cook what he wanted. Gabriel was a picky eater and Ezra didn’t judge other people’s eating habits. Gabriel, however, _loved_ to judge Ezra’s eating habits. Gabriel once made fun of him for having quiche even though he was having an omelette, which was basically the same thing except one was baked in a pie crust. He also made fun of his weight. Basically, if they were out together Ezra had to reduce his options to salad. Sometimes Gabriel still found a way to make fun of him. (“Bleu cheese? Really, Ezra?”)

“Hello Grace, I got things to make devil’s food cupcakes!” he announced as he entered the flat. “Got some cherries, too, so they might become black forest cupcakes.” 

After he put away the ingredients he went to Grace’s habitat and picked her up. She was an albino piebald ball python he got one time time when he decided he needed a pet but didn’t feel his flat was right for a cat or dog. 

“I broke up with Gabriel,” Ezra told Grace as he draped her over his shoulders. “For good this time. I know there won’t be any love lost between you two.”

Her only answer was to stick her tongue out a couple of times. 

“Let’s go find that recipe, then. If I have time I’ll make quiche, too. Yes, for dinner! There are no rules and I have a craving.”

~*~*~*~

A nervous looking young man made his way into Gabriel’s office with a flower vase in one hand and a box under his other arm. 

“Um, delivery for Gabriel Messenger?” he said, setting them both down at the front desk. He handed Michael a clip board to sign. 

Once he’d left she checked the card but didn’t open it. She recognized Ezra’s handwriting. Michael couldn’t help but check the box a little bit and realized it was just random stuff under the lid. A toothbrush, shirts, and the like. Michael almost started laughing when she realized what this all meant. Ezra had finally grew a backbone. Good for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would be funny if Ezra was the one to have a pet snake instead of Crowley.   
> I know usually it’s the person who is broken up with that gives the fuck off bouquet but I think Ezra and Gabriel’s situation is. . . special. . . for lack of a better word. Ezra wants Gabriel to know he meant what he said and wants to be left alone.   
> Also, the quiche story is true from an experience with one of my ex-boyfriends. I based some aspects of Gabriel on him, actually. Mainly the narcissism, making fun of me for liking to try new food, and saying I wouldn’t find someone else. He was my last boyfriend before I found My Crowley, too.


	7. Variegated Tulips (Beautiful Eyes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra and Crowley share a first. . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little longer, I couldn’t decide if I was happy with it and had to do some last minute tweaking. Might be a little slower for a couple of chapters anyways for similar reasons. This work is mostly finished but it does have some kinks to work out. So here’s more fluff and florist tropes!

_About 2 weeks later. . ._

“Do you have a favorite flower, Crowley?” Ezra asked, continuing to smile down at the little arrangement of white chrysanthemum and forget-me-not. (truth, loyal love, and true love)

“Probably black tulips or red poppies,” Crowley shrugged. (Power, strength, supreme elegance & eternal sleep, pleasure, sacrifice)

Ezra thought a moment. “I’m not sure eternal sleep is the message I’m looking for but do you have black tulips?”

“Afraid those are a special order. . .”

“Red tulips, then?” (Undying love, passion, perfect love)

“Got those,” Crowley said, suspicion creeping into his voice. 

“May I see your eyes for a moment? It’s okay if you don’t--”

Crowley took off the sunglasses and looked into Ezra’s eyes for the first time with out a barrier. 

“Beautiful,” Ezra breathed at the sight of Crowley’s golden eyes. “Why the glasses?”

“I’m sensitive to light, is all. Get headaches easy,” he shrugged and slipped them back on. 

“May I have six red tulips and six variegated tulips, please? Something that will go nicely with the red.” (Beautiful eyes)

“Like this?”Crowley motioned to some orange tulips with yellow highlighting the border of each petal. 

“Perfect,” Ezra sighed. 

Crowley made the bouquet and went to hand them to Ezra after he paid. 

“They for someone?” he asked, trying not to sound jealous. 

“Oh yes,” Ezra handed them back to Crowley with a shy smile. “They’re for you. How would you like to go to lunch with me tomorrow?”

Crowley took the flowers, mouth hanging open as he stared at Ezra in shock. After getting out a few flustered, nonsensical noises his voice settled on “Y-yeah, sure, angel.”

Ezra blushed at the pet name. It slipped past Crowley’s lips so easily that he wondered how long Crowley had been calling him that in his mind. 

“Pick me up at the book shop and we can go for sushi?”

“I’ve never had sushi,” Crowley said thoughtfully.

“Oh, well let me tempt you to try some!” he said brightly. 

Crowley let out a huff of laughter. “Sure, angel, I’d love to.”

“Jolly good then! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

~*~*~*~

Anathema came into the flower shop to the sight of Crowley holding a bouquet of tulips like it was his first born child. 

“Um. . . Are you okay?” she asked slowly. 

“I have a lunch date,” he looked up at her, clearly still processing what had just happened. “With Ezra.”

Anathema made a noise only dogs could hear.

~*~*~*~

_Don’t freak out, just breath. Good, keep doing that. The breathing thing._

Crowley arranged the tulips in a vase by the register. He added a black ribbon because black tulips had been Ezra’s first choice. 

_Should I bring flowers? It’s just a lunch date, but I_ am _a florist. . . No, no, perhaps to the next date. Assuming there is a next date. Please, somebody, let there be a next date!_

“These are _mine_ , don’t sell them,” he told Anathema pointedly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she assured him. “Funny, all those times you watched him go to lunch and you finally get to go with him.”

Crowley _did not_ blush at that and made his way out of the shop and across the street. 

Ezra was re-shelving some books when he came in. Crowley froze for a second upon seeing what was wrapped around his arm. A ball python had made its home around Ezra’s forearm. 

“Hello, dear,” Ezra smiled warmly. 

“Hi, angel. Who’s this beauty?” he asked, pointing to the little snake. 

Ezra gasped as if he’d forgotten it was there. “Oh, yes, this is Grace.” He held out his arm to show Crowley. Grace was mostly white but with some yellow splotches here and there. “She’s an albino pied, as you can see.”

“Lovely,” Crowley said, running a hand over her back. 

“Had a feeling you’d like her,” Ezra said, motioning towards Crowley’s tattoo. “Grace doesn’t usually visit the shop, I just wanted you to meet her.” 

Crowley had the distinct feeling he’d just passed a test as Ezra went to put her back in her habitat and got his coat. 

The sushi place was small but busy and the chef knew Ezra on sight. He held a short conversation with the chef entirely in Japanese as they found a table. Inside was dim enough he took off his shades and slipped them in his jacket pocket. 

“I see you’re a regular,” Crowley said, impressed as an appetizer quickly appeared with some hot sake. “And you’re a day drinker! So am I.”

“Only with certain dishes,” Ezra assured him. “Can’t have sushi without sake.”

“Or tacos without margaritas!”

That made Ezra laugh. Crowley always enjoyed making that happen. 

“Would you like to share a few rolls since this is a first for you? Might help you find out what you like. Sashimi comes in pairs, too.”

“Sounds perfect, angel. Get what you like.”

“I’ll go easy on you with a couple simple ones, of course,” he assured him. 

When their order came Ezra explained that one thing about sushi was that you had to fit the whole piece in your mouth at once to get all the flavors in one bite. Crowley answered by picking up the largest roll (a roll with tuna, salmon, egg, krab, cucumber, and cream cheese) and putting it in his mouth without breaking eye contact. Ezra always had the most beautiful blush. 

They talked over three rolls and some sashimi for about an hour. Crowley was surprised to find out he enjoyed raw fish and rice now. The company certainly helped. 

Crowley found out Ezra spoke three languages and was in the process of learning French. Crowley liked James Bond movies and Ezra had read the books. Ezra found it his mission in life was to read all of the books and try all of the food. Crowley liked astronomy and had originally wanted to be an astronaut or astronomer. 

The subject of Gabriel did come up once, unfortunately, when Crowley asked about why he got Grace. 

“I was lonely but didn’t feel my lifestyle lent itself to a cat or dog. I liked the thought of having a pet that could wrap around my arm and didn’t have to be fed but once a week,” Ezra explained. He paused, a small frown forming. “My ex was not thrilled by her when we got back together. Told me to get rid of her or he’d never come up my flat again. Granted, she _did_ hiss at him when they met. Never saw her do that before or since.”

Crowley’s nose wrinkled in distaste. Of course Gabriel would give that sort of ultimatum. Then a thought came to him that made his face relax in awe. 

“But you kept her,” he said, voice touched with wonder. 

“That I did,” Ezra gave a wry smile. “Just said, ‘Well, I guess you won’t be coming up to my flat anymore, so be prepared to host from now on.’”

Crowley gave his own crooked smile back, impressed with his angel for standing up for Grace. 

“There’s an exhibit opening at the art museum this weekend. Angels & Demons I believe. Would you like to attend with me? Maybe get dinner after?”

“I’d love to, angel.”

~*~*~*~

Anathema was handing some flowers to Newt, their delivery boy, when Crowley returned. 

“It must have been a good date,” she said knowingly. 

“How can you tell? My aura glowing or something?”

“It took almost two hours to have lunch,” she answered simply. “And forget the aura, _you_ are glowing.”

“You got me,” Crowley admitted. “Already made a second date for this weekend.”

“I knew you two would get here eventually,” Anathema patted his arm. 

“Well, we’re not, y’know, _committed_ or anything yet. Didn’t even kiss. Just had lunch and we’re gonna do a museum and dinner Saturday.”

“ _Yet_ is the keyword here.”

“Ok, ok, is anything going on here that’s more interesting than my love life?”

“Fraid not,” Newt finally spoke. 

“. . . Get back to work.”


	8. Oxeye Daisy (Patience)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A museum date and another first. . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mission is to give you all cavities before they finally have sex. It’s a short chapter but the next one should make up for it in both length and content. I’m *almost* happy with the next chapter so I hope to update quickly.   
> Some light, flirty talk about dominance and submission in this chapter. Just thought I’d mention it.

“Oh my. . .”

“I like it. I want one.”

“It is beautiful, but they are. . .”

“Fucking?”

“Quite.”

They looked at each other and started suppressing laughter before giving in. They moved on to the row of paintings behind the statue they had been admiring. 

“Oh, I always _loved_ this story!” Ezra sighed. 

Side by side were two portraits of an angel and a demon. The demon was dressed all in black robes with black wings. His eyes were yellow with slit pupils like a snake and his hair was a waterfall of red curls. The angel wore all white with opalescent white wings and short cropped blonde curls. His eyes were as blue as the sky behind him. Each portrait had half of an apple tree between them that would be whole if they were moved just a few inches closer. They were labeled _Crawly_ and _Aziraphale._

“I remember. . .the angel and demon who fell in love,” Crowley said wistfully. He smiled at the painting of Aziraphale. “He looks like you.”

“I’m hardly that beautiful,” Ezra blushed.

“Yes you are,” Crowley said simply. “I should take a picture of you with the painting so when I tell people I’ve started dating an angel I can show them proof.”

Ezra waved him off but his face remained pink. He admired the painting of Crawly and couldn’t help but remember a dream he had not that long ago. 

“And he looks like you,” he said. 

“Now, I thought you liked me and here you are saying I look like a demon.”

Ezra spun on Crowley, ready to defend himself but saw the playful grin on his face.

“You’re teasing me,” Ezra said, visibly relaxing. “But he was a very good demon--or was it bad demon? He loved an angel and he loved humanity.”

The next painting, called _The Temptation of Aziraphale_ was of the two together. Aziraphale was looking upwards with his hands clasped nervously in front of him. It was hard to tell if he was praying for strength or checking to see if Heaven was watching. Crawly was pressed close to the angel with a hand out like he was waiting for something. His yellow eyes were fixed on Aziraphale, waiting patiently for a decision. 

The last painting in the series was simply called _Lovers of Earth_. True to it’s title, the two were now embracing without any clothes on. It was censored tastefully with some sheets as they kissed softly and their hands sank into smooth skin. Their wings were gone now as they chose mortal lives to be together in the end. 

“Ah, you like this but not my statue?” Crowley arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms in judgement. 

“The demon is dominating the angel in that one,” Ezra explained, casting a critical eye back at the statue before turning back to the painting. “They’re making love, here.”

“No dominance and submission in the bedroom then?”

“I didn’t say that,” Ezra blushed, growing flustered once he realized he’d said that aloud. He was going to be permanently pink by the end of this date if he didn’t watch out. 

“Maybe a little, hm?” Crowley grinned wickedly. 

“We’re in _public_ , Crowley,” he hissed, hazel eyes darting around for eavesdroppers. 

“Alright, alright,” Crowley said through his laughter. He leaned in a little and breathed one word in his ear. “Later.”

~*~*~*

“Thanks for giving me a ride. . . I think,” Ezra said as he got out of the Bentley and smoothed his clothes. “Really, dear, was the speed necessary?”

“I’ve never been in an accident thank you very much,” Crowley said, coming round to stand next to Ezra. “C’mon, I’ll walk you to the door.”

“This was nice,” Ezra smiled. “I enjoyed myself.”

“Me, too,” Crowley agreed. “I’d like to do it again. If you would, of course.”

“I’d love to,” Ezra agreed. 

“Dinner? I know a place you might like.”

“Oh? Where?”

“Don’t spoil the surprise, angel.”

They paused at the door once they reached it. 

Ezra looked down at his keys, then back at the door like they could answer his unspoken question. This was technically their second date, would asking Crowley up be too fast? He hadn’t started a new relationship in so long this was new territory for him. 

“I don’t think either of us want to rush this, yeah?” Crowley said softly. 

Ezra looked up at him, the tension leaving his body with those words. 

“I mean,” he continued. “I _could_ come up and we can see if we can attempt the position from my favorite statue of the day.”

This startled a laugh out of Ezra. His pale cheeks turned red and he gave Crowley a playful swat on the arm. 

“ _But_ , maybe we just end the night with a kiss, instead?”

“Y-yes, I think I’d like that,” Ezra nodded rapidly.

Ezra swallowed his nerves and took a step closer to look into Crowley’s eyes. Crowley brought a hand to the side of Ezra’s neck to steady him before leaning in for a soft kiss. Even though it was the first kiss, it felt like coming home. It felt so right it was hard to believe it was the first and they hadn’t been doing this since they first met. It took some control, but they did their best to keep it gentle and tame despite their bodies vibrating for more. Just a sweet press of lips that told each other they were on the same page and a promise there would be so much more to come. They pulled back, eyes searching for a moment. Whatever they found in each other’s eyes must have been good because they couldn’t help but kiss again. This time their arms wrapped around each other and their heads tilted to allow something deeper. The hand that had been gently touching Ezra’s neck had made it’s home in his white-blond hair. Those curls were just as soft as Crowley had imagined. Crowley had to nearly tear himself away from those inviting lips this time. Their foreheads rested against each other’s as they tried to catch their breath. 

“Should stop there before I change my mind,” Crowley whispered, voice rough with want. 

“Agreed,” Ezra whispered back. 

They went back in for a light peck before saying goodnight against each other’s lips. 

~*~*~*~

Crowley had to sit in the car for a moment and rest his head against the steering wheel. A part of him regretted the choice to end the night with only a kiss, but he knew this wasn’t something to rush. He’d had his eye on Ezra for a while now and didn’t want to screw it up because he was horny. Crowley couldn’t help but be afraid Ezra would change his mind about him. That one wrong move and Ezra would realize he’d made a mistake breaking up with Gabriel to be with Crowley. He only hoped that if they broke up Ezra wouldn’t go back to him. Ezra was too good for Gabriel. Ezra was also too good for Crowley (in Crowley’s opinion) and he wasn’t sure if he wanted Ezra to realize that. The thought of them not working out somehow made Crowley’s chest ache. . . Yeah, it was best if he took this a little bit slow for now. 

Crowley had called it love at first sight but realized what he could feel growing inside of him was so much stronger than what he had felt initially for Ezra. It was something he’d never felt before, either. Crowley had never been in love before, he realized. Attraction and lust, yes. “I like you, lets have fun for a little while” was his relationship history. Love was a different animal. It wasn’t something he’d ever searched for. Instead, it found him. 

Inside the flat, Ezra was having a similar crisis. This was so much _more_ than he’d ever felt for Gabriel. Even when their love was new. Something fit so beautifully about Crowley. He listened and didn’t talk down to him. When they kissed it felt so right he couldn’t believe it was only the first. 

Ezra collapsed into a nearby chair, body finally giving out after a busy day. Maybe at the end of their next date he would invite Crowley up. . . . The thought made his heart race in his chest. Everything had felt so right he’d nearly done that tonight. He giggled into his hand. Maybe next time. . .


	9. Edelweiss (Devotion & Courage)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra has a visitor. Crowley helps him banish any doubt he has about their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small amount of passive aggressive violence in this chapter. Glass breaks & I just wanted to mention it in case that bothers anyone. Ezra has some anxiety but Crowley comforts him. It all ends with sexy blow jobs though! *throws confetti* (I hope it’s ok. I love writing sex but actually letting people read it gives me Anxiety. Letting people read *any* of my work gives me Anxiety but I’m trying to work through it.)

Ezra was whistling when he came down the stairs from his flat to the bookshop. He turned the sign around and unlocked the door before looking through his books for one to occupy his time when customers weren’t in. The bell over the door rang almost immediately as he picked up something that looked promising. 

“Be with you in a moment,” Ezra called before turning around. When he saw who had some in Ezra’s breath caught and his heart did something complicated in his chest.

“Gabriel?” he asked, confused. He hadn’t seen him in over a month now. 

“Hey, Ezra,” he gave Ezra one of his winning smiles. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, um, fine. Everything’s been good. What brings you in?”

“Well, you gave me a lot to think about the last time we talked. I tried dating again but. . . they’re just not you, Ezra. I think you’re right: we’re getting too old to do this running around thing we’ve been doing.” Gabriel got closer to Ezra, invading his space and Ezra found his fingers weaving through Gabriel’s in a familiar way. “Why don’t we go out tonight? I want us to settle down this time. I just want you now.”

“You were never content with just me,” Ezra said, shaking his head. “If you loved me, if I really was the one for you we wouldn’t have broken up a million times.”

“But I always came back, didn’t I?” Gabriel leaned in like he was going to kiss him. “I bought a ring.”

Ezra closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Don’t do this, Gabriel.”

“Look, you had your little rebellion and it gave me some time to think. I think you’re the one and you always have been.”

Ezra picked his head up and sighed. “Well, I’ve had time to think, too. And. . . I’m seeing someone.”

Gabriel’s mouth fell open in shock. “ _You?_ ” Gabriel let go of his hand and took a step back. 

Now that Gabriel had backed off Ezra could breath again. He nodded and suddenly couldn’t keep the smile off his face. 

Lavender eyes narrowed. “The florist? It’s the florist, isn’t it?”

“Yes!” Ezra chirped. “You said he was out of my league, remember that? And he’s been so _wonderful_ and _understanding_. We have a date tonight, even! Our third one!”

Gabriel gave a put upon sigh. “I see. Your little rebellion isn’t over just yet.”

“This isn’t a _rebellion_ it’s a _break up_ , Gabriel!” Ezra shouted. “And I’ll be damned if I let you suck me back in!”

“And this little fling with the florist isn’t going to last!”

Ezra took a few calming breaths and turned away. “You can see yourself out, Gabriel.”

Gabriel turned to leave but paused at the flowers sitting on Ezra’s desk. They had faded as it was the end of the week and only a few roses were left. He swiped at them like an angry cat, letting the vase fall to the floor and shatter. 

~*~*~*~

Ezra had trouble calming down after seeing Gabriel. After he cleaned up the mess Gabriel had left behind he couldn’t stay still and paced around the bookshop in a frenzy of nerves. For once in his life Ezra couldn’t concentrate on a book to save his life. He made himself a cocoa in hopes it would help steady his nerves. After letting the cocoa grown cold he decided it was a lost cause. Ezra decided when he closed for lunch that he wouldn’t reopen until the next day. He deserved some time off. 

What did Gabriel know about his relationship with Crowley anyway? Who was he to say if they would last or not? Ezra was sure they hadn’t even been in the same room more than once. . . But, Gabriel _did_ know Ezra. At least, he knew how to make Ezra doubt himself. Belittling his relationship with Crowley and calling it a _fling._ Acting like Ezra was acting out when Gabriel was the one to knock over the flowers like a child having a tantrum. 

Ezra looked across the street and knew what would help calm him down. 

~*~*~*~

Crowley couldn’t help but smile when he saw Ezra come in the store. 

“Ezra, I didn’t think I’d be seeing you until tonight,” he said, placing the bouquet he’d been working on in the fridge. He pulled Ezra into a hug and pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“I just. . . I just wanted to see you,” Ezra answered, voice tremulous and soft. 

Crowley pulled back to look at him, brows knitting together at the tone in Ezra’s voice. 

“Something’s wrong,” he said, head tilting in concern. “What happened, angel?”

Ezra sighed, but forced himself to meet Crowley’s eyes. 

“Gabriel came into the shop today. He wants me back.” Ezra saw Crowley’s face creasing in anger, but he forced himself to barrel forward before he could interrupt. “I told him I was seeing you, so it was a definite _no_. He said we won’t last.”

“And what the hell does he know?” Crowley hissed. “If we last or not isn’t any of his business, but. . . I really hope we do. I feel like we could stay together until the end of the world if we wanted to. Maybe even after.”

“I feel that, too,” Ezra forced out through his closing throat. “Two dates and I already feel that.” Tears started to fall from his eyes, but he knew they weren’t from sadness. 

Crowley gathered Ezra into his arms and kissed him deeply, trying to banish any fears that still remained in his head. 

_I love you. I love you so much it’s hard to believe this is real. That this is my life now. That I can hold you and kiss you whenever I want. No one else gets to say that I can’t. I love you. I’ll love you forever if you’ll let me._

The kiss gentled slowly and they rested their foreheads against each other. 

“I’ve finished my orders for the day. I’ll have Anathema send them out with Newt and she can close whenever she wants. Let’s get lunch and wander around a park for a bit. Spend the rest of the day together. How’s that sound, angel?”

“That sounds perfect, my darling.”

~*~*~*~

They got fish and chips for lunch because Ezra needed comfort food. They wandered the park for a while and bought food to feed the ducks. They found the perfect park bench with just enough shade to keep them cool while not being too far from the duck pond. It was a great spot to people watch on a sunny day. Crowley got them ice cream somewhere in the middle of the afternoon. 

“As lovely as this has been, I should probably get home,” Ezra said between licks of his vanilla with a flake. “Don’t want you getting bored of me.”

“I’ll never be bored of you, angel.”

Ezra gave a bright smile, eyes flicking over Crowley before going back to the ice cream. 

“I have a date tonight,” Ezra teased. “With the most handsome man I’ve ever met. I should be getting ready soon.”

“Oh? He better looking than that ex of yours who wants you back?”

“I think someone’s fishing for complements, now,” Ezra laughed. “But, yes, I’d say he is. Much kinder, too.”

“Just don’t tell anyone. I got a reputation to keep.”

Ezra sucked some melted ice cream from his fingers after taking his last few bites. He could feel Crowley’s heated gaze on him even behind the sunglasses. 

“I was thinking I’d ask him to the flat after dinner tonight. Do you think he’d be interested?” Ezra continued. “I rather like him but I don’t want to move too fast. . .”

“I bet he’d love that. I bet he’d do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted.”

“What about what _he_ wants?”

“I think he’d tell you if something wasn’t working for him. Don’t worry.” Crowley gave him one of his crooked smiles. His hand inched across the space between them and took Ezra’s soft hand in his. “I think all he wants right now is to spend as much time with you as he can.”

Ezra looked down at their hands, enjoying the way they wove together so easily. In that moment, Ezra knew what he wanted to do with his afternoon. Crowley said he wanted to spend more time with him and he would do whatever Ezra wanted, whenever he wanted, right?

“In that case, would you like to come over for a drink?” he asked, a little shy. “I have a lovely bottle of wine we could share.”

It took Crowley a moment to realize what was happening. Once the question registered Crowley started rapidly nodding his head. “Yeah, yeah, sure,” he said as soon as his mouth caught up to his brain. “If that’s what _you_ want, of course.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t, dearest.”

“. . . True.”

~*~*~*~

Ezra wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or even more nervous at Crowley’s answer. Relieved because they were on the same page. They clearly weren’t ready for their time together to end just yet, even though they had dinner plans. Nervous because Crowley coming up to the flat could lead to. . . certain activities. . . He’d been kissed by other people besides Gabriel, but he’d never had sex with anyone else. This would be. . . new. _If_ anything happened. 

Ezra looked over at Crowley as he admired the apartment. He allowed himself to admire that butt in those tight jeans. New could definitely be a good thing, he decided. 

While Ezra had his mini-crisis, Crowley explored the open loft. The brick walls were nearly covered in books and there wasn’t a television (to no one’s surprise.) He came across Grace in her tank near the window. 

“Hello beauty,” Crowley greeted. “I’d take you out but I plan on being _very_ busy _very_ soon. Next time, yeah?” She flicked her tongue out at him a couple of times. “Yes, I hope there will be tongue involved. Wish me luck.”

He sat down on the soft looking sofa decorated with a tartan blanket. _Yes, this is where we’ll have drinks_ , he decided. Crowley looked over his shoulder and into the dark wood kitchen where Ezra was getting said drinks. He noticed there was a large island with bar stools for eating at. _And that’s where we’ll have breakfast tomorrow morning._ He smirked to himself for that before adding in his mind that he’d only spend the night if that was what Ezra wanted, of course. They might only make out until dinner, then Ezra might be ready to be rid of him for a bit. His best case scenario was sex, dinner, followed by more sex, and breakfast in the morning. . . perhaps after a bout of morning sex. . . If he should be so lucky. 

Ezra set their drinks on the coffee table and sat down next to Crowley. 

“I’ve got the curtains drawn so you should be able to take off your shades, dear,” Ezra mentioned. “If you’d like, of course.”

Crowley nodded and took off the shades. 

“I like this place,” Crowley commented, taking a sip of his wine. “Now that I’m here I might not want to leave for dinner.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to mess up your plans--”  
“If I’m with you I’m where I want to be. Don’t worry about plans. What would _you_ like to do for the rest of the afternoon?”

Ezra paused and took a sip of wine. “I think. . . I think I’d like to kiss you.”

“I’d like that too.”

Ezra leaned in and pressed their lips together softly. Crowley welcomed the kiss easily, tilting his head and giving a hum of approval. Crowley brought a hand to Ezra’s face, just needing to touch him at the moment. Ezra ran a hand through red hair and took a fist full at the back of Crowley’s head making him moan at the surprise display of dominance. Mouths opened and tongues found each other. 

Crowley was able to pull away so he could trail kisses from Ezra’s cheek to whisper in his ear. 

“We can stay on this couch and kiss for the rest of the afternoon. Would you like that?” he asked, pressing a kiss under Ezra’s ear. 

“That does sound lovely, dear,” Ezra sighed. “But is that what _you_ want?”

Crowley pulled back and looked into Ezra’s eyes. Those normally bright eyes had been darkened by lust and his lips pink and shiny from kissing. 

“You’ve been so good to me today,” Ezra continued, pressing soft kisses to Crowley’s face. “It’s your turn. What do you want?”

_All I want is to love you. To please you. To see you come undone and know it was me that did that._

Crowley wrapped his arms around Ezra, pulling him close as wet lips explored his long neck. 

“Tell me,” Ezra breathed, tongue darting out and licking his Adam’s apple. 

“So many things,” Crowley gasped out, trying to put his jumbled thoughts into coherent words. “I want _everything_. But first, I just want to see what you look like spread out on a bed for me.”

“I can do that.” Crowley could feel Ezra’s smile against his throat. “Then we’ll go from there?”

Crowley could only nod into blonde curls. 

They pulled back with some reluctance so they could stand and change venue. They held hands the short way to the bedroom. Crowley pulled Ezra in for another soft kiss when they reached the bedside. They stripped between kisses and were already down to shirts and boxers. Ezra still had on his socks. 

Soon Ezra found himself falling backwards onto the soft bed with Crowley on top of him. Crowley broke the kiss again and started traveling downwards. He undid the buttons of Ezra’s shirt so he could better explore the soft body beneath him. He pressed a kiss to a pink nipple that had Ezra crying out before he could catch himself. He could feel Crowley smirk against his skin before sucking the nipple into his mouth. Ezra had to cover his mouth to keep from outright screaming while his free hand left a scratch on Crowley’s shoulder. 

“I’ve wanted to get my mouth on you for so long,” Crowley looked back up at Ezra with fire in his eyes. “Can I suck you?”

Ezra sucked in a startled breath and nodded eagerly. Crowley moved farther down and kissed over the soft swell of his tummy. 

“Just relax. Lay back, angel,” Crowley hooked his thumbs beneath the waistband to pull off Ezra’s boxers. “Let me take care of you.” Despite Crowley wanting him to lay back, Ezra got up on his elbows so he could get a better view. No one had ever done this for him before and he wanted to watch. Crowley took his time and pressed kisses up and down thick, pale thighs. 

“Beautiful,” he hummed and nipped at the soft skin beneath his lips. “I wanna fuck these thighs. But _this_ time--” He pressed a kiss to the base of a thick cock, making Ezra gasp. He trailed soft kisses up until he reached the head. 

Ezra bit his lip to hold back the broken sounds that tried to spill out. After a couple more kisses and gentle licks Crowley reached up to touch Ezra’s pink lips. 

“Don’t. I want to hear you.”

He reluctantly let his mouth fall open and gave a soft moan as Crowley slid Ezra’s cock into his warm mouth. 

_You sound like a whore._ Ezra shook his head to clear the memory from his mind. Gabriel could go fuck himself. Ezra had better offers. 

Ezra laid back so he could put his hands in soft red hair. A tug made Crowley moan around his length. He pulled off but continued pumping him with his free hand. The other hand had found its way into his own boxers. 

“You can fuck my mouth if you want. Go ahead,” he said, pressing an open mouth kiss to the head. Ezra let out a wail at that and curled his fingers into Crowley’s hair. He moved his hips gently at first, testing the waters. He could feel he was going down Crowley’s throat with little resistance and it made his eyes roll back in his head. 

Ezra came with Crowley’s nose buried in the blonde curls of his pubic hair and a scream on his lips. 

Crowley let the softening cock fall from his mouth and rested his forehead on a thick thigh as he finished himself off by his hand. It only took a couple pulls before he was gasping against Ezra’s thigh. Crowley smirked up at him with bleary amber eyes and pressed a kiss to the pale skin he’d been resting on. He pulled himself up and cuddled up to Ezra. 

“Well,” he said between gasps of breath. “That’s one thing off the Ezra Fell Fantasy List.”

That startled a laugh out of Ezra. “You have a list?”

“Oh yeah,” Crowley nodded enthusiastically. “I’m open to suggestions of course. It’s an ongoing list.”

“Are you alright, dear? You sound horse. . .” Ezra asked, concerned. 

“S’alright. Probably just need water. When my legs start to work.”

Ezra sat up and pulled on his boxers. 

“Oh, you don’t have to--” Crowley started, but was silenced by a gentle hand. 

“Let me take care of you now, love,” Ezra said and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

Crowley allowed Ezra to get him a glass of water and a warm wet cloth.

“Did that a little backwards, didn’t we?” Crowley said. “Dinner’s supposed to come _before_ the sex, yeah?”

Ezra laughed and kissed him again. “We can order something in,” he said, joining him back on the bed. “I have you in my bed, good luck ever leaving.”

“Good luck ever getting rid of me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My magnolia tree is blooming and I know they mean Love of Nature after all the research I’ve done for this fic.   
> *points to Gabriel* Keep an eye on this douchebag. I got plans for him & wanna see if anyone notices what they are.


	10. Red Tulip (Undying Love & Passion)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve realized that when you let Crowley and Ezra do what they want they end up fucking and being cute for two chapters. Enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frank discussions about sex followed by actual sex in this chapter. It might sound like I’m making fun of people who are vanilla in bed but what I’m trying to say is that Gabriel and Ezra weren’t sexually compatible. I think when you have sex you talk it out and figure out what you like as a couple. Don’t push your boundaries and do something you don’t want just to make them happy, either.

They ended up ordering in Thai and having a minor squabble over who should pay.

“I _planned_ to pay tonight, angel,” Crowley insisted

“Yes, for something else. You can do so when we actually get there,” Ezra argued. “It’s my fault we didn’t end up going, anyway.”

“Don’t blame yourself, especially for things that don’t matter. Today went even better than I had imagined it would,” he took Ezra’s hands and looked into his eyes. “I wouldn’t change today for anything. I got to spend it with you.”

“I feel the same,” Ezra sighed and looked down at their hands. “Think you could call the restaurant and have our reservations changed to tomorrow? _Then_ you can pay.”

“Tomorrow? You’d like to see me again that soon?” Crowley asked in disbelief. 

“I’d spend every day with you if you would let me,” Ezra said giving Crowley a peck on the lips. 

Ezra realized he didn’t want to put his clothes back on and went to get a housecoat. 

“Crowley, would you like a housecoat?” he called from the closet. “I think I have a spare if you’re cold.”

“Sure, angel,” Crowley called back. “Guess we shouldn’t scandalize the delivery boy.”

Ezra handed him a soft, barely used robe. 

“Tartan, angel? Really?” Crowley couldn’t help but snort even as he put on the robe. 

“Tartan is stylish!” Ezra huffed. 

When the food came Ezra got out some plates and they sat at the kitchen island to eat. Crowley couldn’t help but find it funny that they’d ended up there earlier than he had expected.

“I was looking over here and hoping this was where we’d have breakfast tomorrow morning,” he admitted between bites of pad thai. 

“We still can,” Ezra said, smiling over his curry. “Besides, I’m starting to wonder about this supposed third tattoo of yours. I didn’t see it.”

“You doubt me, angel?” Crowley smirked back at him. “You didn’t even get my shirt off.”

“Maybe I’ll get it off tonight, then?”

“Oh, you’ll get off tonight.”

Ezra snorted inelegantly into his wine. 

~*~*~*~

Both were thankful there was significantly less clothing between them this time. All Crowley had to do was take off Ezra’s robe and slip off his boxers to get him fully naked and sitting at the end of the bed. 

Ezra pulled Crowley’s shirt over his head and admired his freckled shoulders, lightly furred chest, and flat stomach. 

“Ah, there we are,” he said, taking hold of his waist and running a thumb over the elusive third tattoo that peaked out over his boxers. A constellation of stars rose from just bellow the elastic and followed the curve of his bony hip. Soon the boxers were gone, too. 

Crowley gently helped Ezra lay down and curled up beside him, hands wandering his lover’s soft body. He admired the blonde hair that decorated the strong chest and traced the stretch marks that lined the swell of his belly. 

“Alright,” Crowley asked between kisses. “What do you want this time? It was my choice last time.”

“ _Oh_ , um. . .” he’d never been asked what he wanted in bed before. Now he wasn’t sure what to ask for. 

“Aren’t you the one with the list, dear?”

“It’s a two way street, angel. I’d like to hear what _you_ like.”

Gabriel had a certain way of doing things and that included sex. Why would Ezra not be satisfied? We both got off didn’t we? What more do you want? Am I not enough for you now?

Ezra flinched at the memory and tightened his hands on Crowley’s thin waist to bring himself back to the present. 

“Alright there, angel?” Crowley’s voice gently broke through the chaotic thoughts. He’d pulled back from kissing Ezra’s neck and was looking at his lover with concern in his golden eyes. 

“Yes, just. . . old memories,” Ezra answered with a quick smile. “When it came to my ex. . . you know we had fights. Sometimes they were about sex.”

“You can fight about sex?” Crowley frowned. 

“When it’s subpar, yes. I was sexually frustrated even when we were together.”

Crowley hissed through his teeth in sympathy. 

“It was all I knew, though,” Ezra shrugged. “Doggy style, handjobs, occasional missionary. . . I was always on bottom.” There was a note of disappointment in Ezra’s voice especially when he said the part about being on bottom. It was clear he’d been forced into that roll without much say in the matter. 

“So. . . was that your first blow job?” Crowley asked. 

“Yes, he. . . didn’t like the thought of putting his mouth anywhere _unsanitary._ ”

“And you’ve never topped?”

Ezra shook his head.

“Do you want to?”

Ezra gasped, feeling his cock give an interested twitch at the words. “Would you let me?”

“It’s on the list,” Crowley smirked.

Ezra licked his lips and looked down coyly. “What else is on the list?”

“Oh, hmmm. . . sucking you off, which we’ve done but I will gladly do again. You sucking me off, if you’d like, of course. I’d like us each to get a turn on top. . . riding, sixty-nine, thigh fucking, shower sex, sex in the Bentley--”

“Would it be easier to ask what isn’t on the list?” Ezra asked on the brink of laughter. 

“Shit, probably. Not a fan of pain so no whips or chains. Occasional taps on the butt are okay,” he paused, thinking. “Had a girl call me daddy one time. Don’t do that. I’m your lover not your father figure.”

“I’m older than you!”  
“All the more reason not to. Also, no threesomes. No one else gets to touch you but me because I’m a jealous sod. They can watch and suffer, though.” Crowley muttered under his breath that Gabriel could watch and suffer. Show him what good sex looks like. Wanker. 

“How about you?”

Ezra thought a moment and shrugged. “None of those things sound good to me either. I don’t think I’d like to be choked.”

“Unless it’s on your cock that doesn’t appeal to me either,” Crowley winked at him. “Tied down or held down?”

“I’d give it a try, maybe. . .”

“If we try it we’ll use a color system or safe word, okay?”

“Color system?”

“That’s when I’ll ask your color and you use the words green, yellow, or red. Green is all good to go, yellow is slow down and lets talk, red is stop.”

“I like that,” Ezra smiled brightly. 

“Yeah, it’s good when you’re trying something new. In this case almost everything will be new for you, hm?”

Ezra laughed a little nervously, blushing. 

“I, um, I also noticed you tried to hold back on the noises last time,” Crowley said gently. “I won’t ask why because I’m sure the explanation will only make me angry. But, I _love_ noisy sex. My mouth was otherwise occupied but I’ll talk your ear off if you let me. And I love hearing how I’m making you feel, so don’t hold back, okay?”

“Okay,” Ezra blushed. “It might take some time, but I’ll try not to hold back.”

“You’ll be talking dirty to me in no time.”

Ezra started fidgeting nervously with his hands, eyes not meeting Crowley’s for a moment. 

“What wrong?” Crowley asked, suspicious. “Have you thought of something else you don’t want?”

“Well, something I _want_ , actually. . . Not this time, but eventually. When we’re more comfortable with each other.”

“Go on,” Crowley pressed with interest. 

“Roleplay? Have you done that?” he asked, hazel eyes nervous. 

Crowley’s eyes visibly dilated. He shook his head slowly. “Never been with someone with enough imagination for that. . . But I’ve thought of it.”

“I’ve had. . . dreams. . . about you,” Ezra took a deep breath, hardly able to believe he was telling Crowley this. “In my favorite dream we were in a garden. I think I was an angel and you were a snake at first. . . then you transformed into a demon with black wings. I knew I shouldn’t because we were on opposite sides but we ended up making love against an apple tree.”

Crowley opened his mouth but all that came out was a soft moan. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to get a hold of himself before he could even think about trying to talk again. 

“Oddly biblical, I know,” Ezra went on. “It was when I was with, um, _him_ and I guess I saw you as something forbidden. I hadn’t even seen your eyes yet so my mind decided to give you slit pupils like a snake. They were beautiful.” He turned to look at Crowley again and realized he almost did look like a snake in the moment. A snake about to strike. Ezra swallowed. 

“You want a demon in bed, angel?” he asked, voice dark.

“Perhaps sometime. . . but this time I only want you.”

Those words made Crowley come back to himself, blinking like he had been in a daze. Ezra brushed Crowley’s hair from his face and offered a soft smile that was easily returned. They both leaned in for a kiss. It was passion and fire and _love_ , so much love. . . 

“Do you want to top me tonight? I’m up for anything, angel,” Crowley asked, kissing along Ezra’s neck. 

“I never have,” Ezra swallowed, trying to think through a haze of lust. “I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.”

“I’m sure you could never,” Crowley said. A thought came to him and he paused. “Unless that’s just not something you want to do?”

“Oh, I _definitely_ want to,” Ezra assured him, pulling him into another open, messy kiss.

“I want that, too,” Crowley said with a nip to Ezra’s bottom lip. “I saw your beautiful face when I said it was on the list. I thought you were going to push me over and fuck me right then.”

Ezra was rolled onto his back and Crowley straddled his waist. He felt his hardening cock bump Crowley’s perfect ass. They both moaned into each other’s mouths. 

“Like this?” Crowley asked, slowly sitting up. “I’ll still be in control as long as you want me to be.”

“Well, I do like the view right now,” Ezra said, dark eyes sweeping over his lover. 

“Is this how you want me tonight? You want me to ride you, angel?”

He gasped and his cock throbbed at the words. Ezra had to close his eyes and grip Crowley’s slim hips for a moment to ground himself. 

“Fuck, angel, you’re gonna leave bruises before we’ve even started.”

Ezra gasped and loosened his grip. “Oh, dear, I’m sorry--”

“Don’t be,” he leaned down for another kiss, a curtain of red hair falling around his face. “I don’t want you to hold back in any way. Now, can I ride your cock?”

Oh, that sounded wonderful! And Crowley wasn’t just letting him do it to be polite, he sounded like it was something he legitimately wanted. Was enthusiastic about it even. And who was Ezra to deny him?

Ezra licked his lips and nodded. 

“ _Fuck yessssss_ ,” Crowley hissed. “Can’t wait to have you in me,” he added as he reached to get the lube out of the bedside table. He took Ezra’s hand and poured some out on his fingers. This part Ezra knew because he’d done it to himself, but never to another person. 

Crowley laid out over Ezra to enjoy the stretch of being opened as well as kiss Ezra between soft moans. Once Crowley was riding three fingers and the only word he knew was Ezra’s name he knew he was ready. He reached back and ran a slick hand over Ezra’s cock, making him shiver and bite his lip. Crowley touched his lips again. 

“None of that, remember?” he reminded him gently. 

Ezra nodded and let his mouth go slack. Crowley raised himself up off Ezra’s hips and slowly came back down on his cock. Ezra opened his mouth and moaned at the tight heat engulfing him. Crowley started slow, pulling himself as far up as he could on Ezra’s cock before slamming back down. Once his legs started burning Ezra took hold of his hips to help keep the rhythm going. 

Ezra sat up so he could hold Crowley close and just hold him for a moment, kissing his neck and shoulder. Crowley slowed his movements and let himself be held by strong arms against a broad chest. They fit together beautifully, softness filling in jagged edges and hearts beating together through trembling chests. 

“Thank you,” Ezra whispered. 

_I love you._ Crowley swallowed down the words. He knew in a moment of passion they wouldn’t count. 

“Trust me, this isn’t a hardship,” he said instead before he started working his hips again. 

They found their rhythm once more, kissing with hungry, open mouths whenever they could. Hands explored bodies, leaving the occasional scratch in their wake. Remembering how Crowley reacted last time, Ezra’s hand tangled in long red hair and pulled. 

“Oh _fuck,_ angel,” Crowley hissed. “Feels so good, knew you’d fill me up perfectly when I had your cock in my mouth. I need more, please please, angel, please--”

Ezra wasn’t sure what came over him at hearing Crowley’s pleading, but he pulled Crowley close again and flipped them without (miraculously) slipping out. Instead of just laying back and taking what Ezra gave him, Crowley motioned for Ezra to put his long leg over his shoulder. This tilted his body so Ezra could enter so deep it made Crowley’s eyes roll back in his head. The change of position made Crowley’s moans turn to screams. 

“Look at you, you beauty,” Ezra kissed the knee beside his head. “So perfect for me, aren’t you?” He took his hips, fucking deep and chasing the end. 

“Yes yes yes,” Crowley growled at each thrust. His vocabulary had devolved to three words now: _yes_ , _fuck_ , and _angel_. When Crowley finally touched his neglected cock he came, body bowing and a string of curses on his lips. The feeling of Crowley clenching around him made Ezra follow with a shout of his lover’s name. 

Once he could move, Ezra brought Crowley some water and cleaned him with a warm cloth. Crowley hummed happily at the feeling of Ezra cleaning his stomach combined with the used feeling in his ass and leg muscles. 

“Always so good to me,” he sighed.

“It’s only polite. I may have never topped before but I know my manners,” Ezra said. 

Crowley huffed a laugh. “After _that_ it’s hard to believe.”

That got a little blush out of Ezra. 

“You railing me into the bed and calling me beautiful? Man could get used to that.”

Ezra hid his face in his hand as he took on the color of a tomato. 

“No no no, you just fucked me sideways! You can’t be embarrassed _now_!”

That made him laugh and sit up a little straighter. He couldn’t help but be proud of himself. Ezra had just topped someone for the first time and (judging by the praise he was still getting) had been quite good at it. 

“Stay the night?” asked Ezra.

“Of course,” Crowley said, taking Ezra’s hand and pulling him down into the bed beside him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope no one was disappointed that it was Ezra on top for their first time. I noticed in past chapters he was shown as a bottom and I started questioning myself. It made sense in my head, though, as I wanted his first time with Crowley to be the exact opposite of any time he’d been with Gabriel. Crowley get’s a turn on top soon, don’t worry ;)   
> I fussed over this chapter a little too much and I hope it came out ok . . . . writing sex is freaking hard. . . .


	11. Queen Anne’s Lace (Sanctuary)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A beautiful Sunday where Crowley and Ezra don’t even leave the flat and just enjoy being together for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some heavy talk in this chapter involving religion, parents, parental death, and some very mild homophobia. No one is outright stated to be homophobic, but it is implied. Besides that it’s love, sex, and fluff. Thigh fucking and Crowley’s dirty mouth are also in this chapter.

The sun was starting to peak through the drapes just enough to shine directly onto Crowley’s sensitive eyes. He made a face and turned over so he was closer to Ezra and away from the blinding streak of light. Ezra could feel Crowley moving next to him and opened his eyes. Crowley’s face was half buried in the pillow and his hair was everywhere. That red hair looked like flames when the sun danced over it. Ezra could only see one amber eye and half of a smile tugging at his lips. He couldn’t help but reach forward and touch the crease on his face from where he’d been sleeping on the pillow. 

  
“I love you,” Ezra said softly. 

Crowley looked shocked for a moment and Ezra suddenly realized it was the first time he’d said those words aloud. All the times he’d thought them, felt them in his very soul, and he had never voiced them. He almost started apologizing for fear he’d broken some unspoken rule, but then Crowley smiled brightly and turned to kiss the palm of Ezra’s hand. 

“I love you, too.”

Ezra returned his smile. “Coffee?”

“Now I love you even more.”

~*~*~*~

Ezra gazed out the window over his kitchen sink, a mug of warm tea in his hands. Crowley came up behind him and put his arms around his waist, pressing warm kisses along his neck. 

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome, but--”

“Stay,” Ezra interrupted. He turned and looked into Crowley’s eyes. 

Crowley gave a little half smile and kissed him. It took Ezra a moment to realize that long fingered hands were working open his robe and slipping it over his shoulders. Ezra gasped and reached to close the drapes. 

“Now, hold on,” Crowley pulled Ezra’s hand back before he could touch the tartan fabric. “You’ve got a shirt on and no one can see below your waist.”

“You’re planning something. If you’re going to copulate with me against the kitchen counter I’d rather no one saw.”

“What if I want them to see what I do to you?”

“My sex faces are for you and you only.”

Crowley gave a pout, amber eyes wide and almost puppy-like. Ezra knew he was being teased by such an expression. He decided to play along and sighed, leaning in for a kiss. 

“We’ll work up to that, alright?” Ezra assured him, closing the drapes with finality. 

“Okay,” Crowley relented, pulling a bottle of lubricant out of his robe pocket. “Can I still fuck you against the counter?”

“Oh yes, please do.”

Crowley pulled him into a deep kiss. His hands worked off Ezra’s pajama bottoms as well as his boxers and kicked them away. Crowley took a soft, heavy cheek in each hand and pulled him impossibly closer. 

“Turn around and keep your legs together,” Crowley instructed, voice deep. “I want to fuck those pretty thighs of yours.”

Ezra whimpered before doing as instructed. He heard the click of the lube bottle before feeling Crowley spread some between his legs and down his thighs. Ezra gave a soft, shuddering moan and gripped the counter when he felt Crowley’s cock run between his legs and over the sensitive skin of his perineum. Crowley pressed soft kisses along the back of his neck and wrapped a slippery hand around his cock. 

“You like last night? Finally getting to know what it’s like to be balls deep in someone?” Crowley hissed in his ear. 

Ezra could only whimper and nod. He reached up to grab Crowley’s hair. 

“Soon, I’m gonna fuck you the way you fucked me. Feel this beautiful ass clenched around me.” He roughly grabbed one ass-cheek, letting his fingers sink into pale skin. 

Ezra flexed the muscles in his thighs, putting more pressure on Crowley’s cock and making his moan. Soon he could feel Crowley shaking apart behind him and a wet splash between his legs. Even during the bliss of his own orgasm Crowley kept moving the hand on Ezra’s cock until he came, the white liquid dripping down the dark wood of the cabinets. 

For a few moments, all their effort was put into trying to breath normally as well as not let their legs give out from under them. 

“Now who’s going to clean this mess?” Ezra asked, eyeing the state of his cabinets. 

“Lucky we’re already at a sink, yeah?” Crowley said between bubbles of exhausted laughter. 

Only since yesterday they had had sex three different ways. None of which Ezra had ever done before. He had a feeling this was Crowley’s goal. 

~*~*~*~

Crowley got his wish to hold Grace and sat on the couch with her wrapped around his arm for a while. 

“Have I mentioned how beautiful you are?” he asked her. “We can bond over our hatred of your owner’s ex, too. I hear you hissed at him. Smart _and_ beautiful, just like your owner.”

“Oh _hush_ ,” Ezra waved a hand at him. 

“It’s true! Tell him, Grace.”

Grace stuck her tongue out a couple of times in answer before making her way across his shoulders to the other arm. 

“God, I’ve always wanted a snake. Not sure why it never happened. Life got in the way, I guess.”

“You can think of her as yours if you like. Especially if you’ll be around weekly. She seems to like you.”

“What do you say, lovely? Be mine?”

Grace coiled comfortably around his forearm and Crowley decided to take that as a yes. 

~*~*~*~

“I’ve always thought tattoos were beautiful when done right. Yours were done by a talented artist, too,” Ezra commented, fingers dancing over the beautifully drawn wing on Crowley’s arm. 

“Bee did them. We dated a while but realized we made better friends. They were a great artist. . . kinda wonder if they’re still doing it. . .” Crowley answered, voice a little wistful as he stared at the ceiling. 

“I certainly hope so. Not that I’d be able to get one, of course.”

“Why not?”

“Needles,” Ezra answered, scrunching his nose. His face made Crowley laugh. 

“I get it. Hurts like hell, not gonna lie.” He pointed to the snake resting by his ear. “Especially this guy.”

“Which one did you get first?”

“The wing,” Crowley answered softly. “Then the stars, then the snake.”

“They all have meaning or are simply designs you like?”

“Bit of both.”

“Do you have a favorite?”

“Probably the wing. I got it after I left my family behind and I felt free to be myself for the first time.”

Their eyes met. Neither had spoken of their families or where they’d come from just yet. It was a touchy subject for both of them. 

“They were very religious,” Crowley continued. “I asked too many questions for their taste. First time I dared question the Bible I thought my father was gonna burst a blood vessel. I knew I was not straight from a young age and kept it a secret. I’m pansexual so I was able to bring home girls to make myself look like a god-fearing young man who hadn’t also made out with boys behind the bleachers from time to time.”

“I had a similar upbringing,” Ezra admitted. “I’m gay and just couldn’t bring myself to date girls just for the sake of looking straight, so I just. . . _didn’t_ date. I’m not sure my parents ever figured it out, though. They tried to set me up sometimes but I would use the excuse that I was trying to focus on my studies or my work. They died in a car crash when I was in my late twenties. I was almost thirty before I lost my virginity.”

Crowley swallowed, mulling over the question in his head. He felt he knew the answer, but wanted to hear Ezra say it for some reason. 

“Gabriel?” He hated even saying that name. It felt like it would break something between them. But Crowley knew he was a large part of Ezra’s past and they couldn’t just pretend he didn’t exist.

“Yes. I had never been with anyone else until yesterday,” Ezra gave him a soft smile. “What’s your history, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“If you don’t mind hearing about it. It’s . . . a little extensive. . .”

“It’s quite alright, dear. We’re all adults here. You already mentioned Bee, anyway.”

Crowley paused, mind whirring with thoughts of the past and trying to decide where to start. 

“Lost my virginity in the back of a car when I was seventeen. His name was Luke. I also slept with his sister later that year. Rose was my first girl. I liked her better than Luke.” Crowley paused and frowned at the ceiling. “I think my number in all is . . . fifteen, I think? All different genders like I was trying to collect them all or something.”

They both laughed and looked back into each other’s eyes. Crowley sobered up and bit his lip nervously. 

“I’d never been in love before, though,” he admitted softly. “Not until now. I had no idea it was so. . . consuming.”

Ezra stared back in wonder, eyes full of love. “I’m starting to wonder if the same is true for me, too. I loved Gabriel, I did. . . at some point, I’m sure. It never felt quite like this, though. I feel I’d do things for you that I’d never even suggest to him.”

“Like what?”

“Well. . . He wouldn’t do blow jobs for me but hinted he wanted me to do them for him. I wasn’t sure it appealed to me either so I didn’t. But what you did for me yesterday,” Ezra gave a pleased shudder. “If it brought you the same pleasure I don’t think I’d mind.”

“You know you don’t have to just because I’ll do it for you--”  
“I know. I’d like to give it a try, though,” Ezra gave him a small smile. He looked thoughtful for a moment then raised a critical eyebrow at Crowley. “Sex in front of open windows, though--”

Crowley barked out a laugh and waved his hand like he was shooing a fly. 

“Don’t worry about that! We never have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“The same goes for you, of course.”

~*~*~*~

It was late afternoon when Crowley had taken an interest in Ezra’s old record player. Ezra had just finished putting away dishes to come back to Crowley putting a record on and holding his hand out with a mischievous smile. 

_~If I could begin to be_

_Half of what you think of me_

_I could do about anything_

_I could even learn how to love~_

Ezra easily fell into Crowley’s arms and swayed with him to the music, resting his head on his shoulder. He felt Crowley’s breath move his hair and his long nose nuzzle the curls occasionally. 

_~When I see the way you act_

_Wondering when I’m coming back_

_I could do about anything_

_I could even learn how to love_

_Like you~_

“Do we have to open the shops tomorrow?” Ezra asked. 

“Well, we _do_ need to make money.”

Ezra laughed and looked up at Crowley. 

“This has been wonderful, dear. I hope. . . maybe we can do this every weekend? Just spend time together however we want?”

“I’d like that, angel,” Crowley whispered before pulling him in for a kiss. 

“You never did tell me where we were going tonight,” Ezra mentioned, resting his head back on Crowley’s shoulder. 

“Ah, yes,” Crowley said as if it had just come to him. “How does the Ritz sound?”

Ezra gasped and pulled back, eyes wide when they met his lover’s again. 

“ _The Ritz?_ That sounds wonderful, darling! I’ve never been!”

Crowley couldn’t help but preen a little at having impressed his angel. 

_~When I see the way you look_

_Shaken by how long it took_

_I could do about anything_

_I could even learn how to love_

_Like you_

_Love like you_

_Love me like you~_

“Our weekend will end on a high note, then,” Crowley smiled. 

“Indeed it will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I think they’ll finally keep their hands off of each other for a chapter. How do you keep these too from just making out every time they’re in the same room? The answer: you don’t.  
> Since the rest of the chapters need work I’ll only push myself to be on a once a week schedule for now. Most likely on Fridays or Saturdays. 
> 
> Song is Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar. No, I don't know how Ezra has a record of it.


	12. Delphinium (Levity)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are bad at hiding what went on over the weekend. Crowley meets an old friend of Gabriel’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I decided to move on with the story instead of writing a Ritz date. I already wrote two chapters just of them getting to know each other and being sickeningly in love. . . . not saying there won’t be more of that in the future, of course. Next chapter might be straight up porn, not gonna lie.

“Good morning, Madame Tracy,” Ezra smiled at the older woman who entered the shop. “I believe I have your order right here,” he said, pulling a couple books from under his desk.

“Thank you, Mr. Fell,” she smiled knowingly at him. “I see the new boyfriend is going well.”

“Oh, um, yes,” he said, blushing. 

“I can tell,” Tracy winked at him. 

“Oh dear,” Ezra put a hand over his face. “Is it that obvious?”

“You look like you just had the best sex of your life.”

“Well, it’s _true_ but I don’t want to _broadcast_ it!”

That made Tracy laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m just more aware of such things than most. As you should well know.” She held up one of the books he’d ordered for her on karma sutra. “Perhaps you need this more than me?”

~*~*~*~

“Well, _someone_ got laid this weekend.”

“Good morning, Anathema.” Crowley breezed past her like she hadn’t just announced that he’d gotten laid. At least no one one in the store just yet besides Newt who was currently choking on his own spit. “Thanks again for watching the store Saturday.”

“My pleasure. You owe me one, though.”

“If Newt finally asks you out, sure.”

“Yeah! Wait, what--”

~*~*~*~

Crowley and Ezra started meeting for lunch most weekdays. Some days they only went up to Ezra’s flat and made a sandwich, others they went to nearby restaurants for whatever craving they were having that day. This day they were walking back to their shops from getting sushi, still lost in conversation as they ambled down the sidewalk together. 

“Ezra,” a voice said suddenly making him jump. Ezra turned to see Sandalphon standing next them. Sandalphon was an old friend of Gabriel’s. Ezra was never sure how he felt about him. He had the air of someone violent and it made Ezra’s skin crawl to be around him. 

“S-sandalphon, how are you?” he asked with a forced smile. 

“Been good. Heard you and Gabriel broke up again,” Sandalphon’s lip curled to show his gold teeth. “Pity, that. Thought it would take this time.”

Ezra wasn’t sure how to answer accept to nod and look over at Crowley with pleading eyes. Crowley had clearly been eyeing the newcomer behind his shades and had decided he didn’t like him one bit. Sandalphon noticed Crowley now and was eyeing him up also. The hate at first sight was clear between both parties involved. 

“New friend?” Sandalphon asked.

“Boyfriend,” Crowley answered. The word made Ezra’s heart pound and he offered Crowley a soft smile. 

“Ah,” he turned back to Ezra in distaste. “How long were you with Gabriel again?”

“Um, in all or just the last run?” Ezra asked with a nervous chuckle. 

Sandalphon shrugged like it was an answer and waited for Ezra to elaborate. 

“Fifteen years in all, a year the last time,” he answered tightly. “Why?”

“Moving on quickly, aren’t you?”

Ezra swallowed and looked away. 

“Think that’s _his_ business, innit?” Crowley broke in. He reached down and took Ezra’s hand. “C’mon, angel, we best get back to our shops.”

Once they no longer were near Sandalphon Ezra allowed a smile to grace his lips

“Boyfriend, hm?” Ezra said with a sidelong glance at Crowley. 

“Ngk. Umm, yeah. . . hope that’s okay? I mean, I guess I just assumed--”

“Yes, that’s fine dear. It’s just the first time I’ve heard you call me that,” Ezra blushed. His face fell a bit when some of Sandalphon’s other words came back to his memory. “You don’t think we’re moving too fast, though?”

“Don’t worry about what that creeper thinks. What do _you_ think?”

Ezra twisted his fingers around each other a couple of times and looked up to meet Crowley’s eyes again. 

“I like this pace. Feels right after flirting for a few months, I believe.”

Crowley chuckled and lowered his sunglasses to wink at him. 

“How do you know him anyway?”

“He’s a friend of Gabriel’s,” Ezra shrugged. “Not really sure if I ever considered Gabriel’s friends my friends, too. We tolerated each other well enough to attend functions together, I suppose. Friends I could talk about things with? No.”

“You have any friends like that?”

“Well, the bookstore does have a book club,” Ezra started smiling just thinking about it. “I should have you attend sometime. They’d probably like to meet you anyways.”

“If you read me the book, sure.”

~*~*~*~

“Saw Ezra yesterday,” Sandalphon said conversationally. “And his new boyfriend.” He pulled a face when he said the last word. Like he was naming something disgusting he didn’t really want to discuss in polite company. 

Gabriel couldn’t hold back a grimace at those words. 

“They’re _still_ together? I thought it would have run it’s course by now,” he said. “I mean, he’s _obviously_ a rebound. A fling.”

“Of course,” Sandalphon easily agreed, though he was clearly just trying to placate his friend. 

“. . . . He’s handsome, though, isn’t he? The boyfriend?”

“Hard to tell with those sunglasses taking up half his face. Plus the long hair and the face tattoo. He looks like a washed up rocker to me.”

That made Gabriel laugh. “He’s a florist, too, can you believe?”

“I never would have expected that,” Sandalphon said with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah, here,” Gabriel pulled out a card and handed it to Sandalphon. “That’s him. Think you could, I dunno, do some digging for me? See if there’s anything _interesting_ in his past?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“For Ezra’s safety, of course.”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so mentally exhausted right now I might not be able to answer comments individually for now beyond maybe an emoji or two. I love comments and every one is appreciated, though! Love you guys! <3


	13. Honeysuckle (Devoted Affection)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BONUS CHAPTER Ezra’s first blowjob before Crowley fucks him like a demon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just throwing this out there, but you don’t even have to read this if you don’t want to. It’s really a Porn Without Plot situation here. Small plot in the first and last couple of paragraphs if you want to check that out but not entirely important. The Plot will return next chapter! I just had to be horny on main for a bit. ;D  
> Mentions of scars that may have come from past violence. Sex is a little rough and maybe mildly dom/sub in places. Some begging, finger sucking, and there’s also rimming. Because I had to tick that off the Ezra Fell Fantasy List, too. Also got a little demon/angel play. Working on another Bonus Chapter that’ll be solely demon/angel roleplay btw. As a treat.

They laid side by side, facing each other without a stitch of clothing between them. Even though they were naked and hard against each other there was no urgency in their movements. It was all about exploring and worshiping. They just let their hands wander plains of skin. Fingers traced scars, tattoos, and freckles. There were tender, sipping kisses to lips. Sometimes their lips explored cheeks, noses, foreheads, even eyes and ears. 

Crowley pulled Ezra closer so their chests were flush and he could kiss his neck and shoulder. Ezra enjoyed the prickle of coarse chest hair against his own. Ezra found a long scar on Crowley’s lower back nearly as long as his index finger. He traced it and hoped it hadn’t been as painful as he feared. 

Crowley pulled back and pressed their foreheads together. 

“What do you want tonight?” he asked softly. 

“I. . . I think I’d like to try having your cock in my mouth.”

“Oh angel, I like the sound of that,” Crowley hissed, placing his thumb on Ezra’s bottom lip. 

“I also would like for you to make love to me,” Ezra breathed before taking Crowley’s thumb into his mouth. 

Crowley made a broken noise. His finger started doing little thrusts in and out of Ezra’s mouth in a pantomime of what was to come. 

_That’s gonna be my prick those pretty lips will be wrapped around._

Ezra started to get down on his knees. Crowley handed him a pillow so he wouldn’t hurt them on the hard floor. Ezra thanked him shyly and got into position between Crowley’s legs. 

“Just do what you can,” Crowley said gently. “Don’t try to deep throat and use your hand to take care of the rest. Tell me when you get tired, I won’t be mad.”

Ezra gave a slightly nervous smile and nodded before taking a good look at Crowley’s cock. It was definitely a mouthful. Long, thick, and already starting to weep precum at the tip. He decided to start there and lick away the sticky fluid leaking out. He heard a soft gasp above him and smiled, giving it another lick all the way from base to tip. Ezra took the base in one hand and slid the head into his mouth. 

Crowley gave a soft moan and ran his fingers through soft blond curls. He rested his hand there, trying not to be forceful or make Ezra take more than he could handle. 

Ezra realized he could take a little more than half and it got easier each time he went down. He hummed, enjoying the taste of salt and skin overwhelming his pallet. After a little while, his jaw started to ache and he got tired of having to constantly check his gag reflex. Ezra pulled off, gasping. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t--”

Before Ezra could finish Crowley pulled him into a kiss that bordered on painful. Ezra had never been kissed with such raw passion. It was all teeth, tongue, and feral growls that made Ezra submit himself completely to his lover. Crowley manhandled him onto the bed and held him down, hips thrusting against his belly for friction. Crowley tore his mouth away with a growl, golden eyes finding hazel-blue. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, seeming to come back to himself. “I lost myself for a moment there.”

“That was nothing to apologize for, love,” Ezra assured him. 

“Oh?” Crowley arched an eyebrow. 

“In fact, I don’t want you to hold back at all.”

Crowley pulled him into another desperate kiss. He pulled back slowly and smiled, a look of pure mischief taking over his face. 

“Turn over.”

“W-wait!” Ezra yelped. “I-I want to see you--”

“I want to get you ready with my mouth,” Crowley explained, voice deep with want. “Want to eat you out _then_ I’ll turn you over and fuck you so hard you see stars. That sound good?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Ezra moaned at the words and allowed Crowley to turn him on his stomach with some pillows beneath his hips. 

Crowley kissed down his back, hands grasping at soft skin. He parted Ezra’s cheeks and licked over the entrance he found there. He worked his slick tongue over the furled hole until he felt it relax enough he could slip the point inside. Ezra couldn’t even begin to hold back his moans, desperate hands grasping at sheets as he tried not to move too much and throw Crowley off. 

Crowley removed his tongue and before Ezra could complain he replaced it with a spit slick finger. 

“Fuck, angel, you’re already loose enough for two,” he said before pressing a kiss to his tailbone. “You’re gonna take my cock beautifully, aren’t you?”

Ezra’s only answer was a long wail of Crowley’s name. 

Crowley brought his mouth back to the loosening hole and licked around his fingers, coaxing it open to fit his tongue again. After just enjoying Ezra’s taste and feeling him writhe on his fingers and mouth for a while, Crowley slowly pulled away and sat up to get the bottle of lube from the nightstand. Ezra lay panting and trembling on the bed, the sheets clutched in his hands. Crowley gave a half-smile down at him. 

_That’s right. I did that. Haven’t even made it inside him yet and he’s undone. Fucking beautiful he is. . . . and he’s all mine. . . ._

He took a deep breath and brought the two slick fingers back to Ezra’s hole, slowly slipping in the third. 

“God, Crowley, please!” Ezra gasped out. 

“Please? Please what, angel?”

Ezra swallowed and gave a soft moan as he felt those long fingers grazing his prostate. 

“Please fuck me! _God_ _please_ I need it!”

Just as he got the words out he was flipped back on his back and a pair of lips were on his. They held each other tight, kissing deep until they couldn’t breath anymore. Crowley pulled back slowly, panting against Ezra’s lips. 

“I’m hardly a god, love,” Crowley gave a soft chuckle. He got up on his knees and opened Ezra’s legs, getting them both into a good position. “Besides. . . Didn’t you once say you wanted a demon in bed?”

Then he was slipping slowly inside of Ezra, filling him up inch by delicious inch in a steady slide. Ezra’s back bowed and his hips worked to get Crowley in as far as possible. Ezra moaned against his lips, unable to speak and trying to remember how to breath. Then Crowley started moving. 

Ezra fell back and let Crowley pound into him as he pleased, legs wide as they could go and heels digging into the mattress. Then his soft sounds took on a different tone that made Crowley know he’d found his prostate.

“Mmm angel, is that the spot?” he asked, aiming for the place that made Ezra scream. “Is that where you need it?”

“Yes, yes, you _fiend_!”

Crowley couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at that. Only Ezra would call him a fiend in bed. . . 

“My beautiful angel. You like it deep and hard, don’t you?”

“ _Fuck_ , yes, god. . .”

“Still not a god, love.”

“ _Demon!_ ”

“There you go.”

Crowley felt Ezra’s nails raking along his back and couldn’t help but hiss a little at the pain. 

When Ezra’s end hit it was completely by surprise. His cock hadn’t even been touched and yet his back was bowing and his hands were gripping Crowley’s arms for dear life. He was shaking and gasping when he came back to himself. Crowley must have come at near the same time as he was in the same state, holding himself over Ezra with what little strength he had left. Crowley leaned down and kissed Ezra before rolling himself over and allowing his body to collapse beside him. 

“I’ve never. . . I’ve never come like that,” Ezra said between desperate gasps for breath. “Oh, that was so good. I’m still shaking! Look at me!” He held up a hand to show Crowley his trembling fingers. Crowley took that shaking hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Ezra could see pride in those golden eyes. 

Crowley turned over and grabbed some wipes from the night stand to clean them off before their cum could get dry and uncomfortable on their skin. 

“For a demon, you’re very kind,” Ezra said thoughtfully. He hadn’t realized his eyes were closed until he heard Crowley chuckle above him. 

“For an angel, you’re a bit of a hedonist.”

“Love you,” Ezra breathed, feeling the pull of sleep. He felt Crowley’s kiss at the corner of his lips. 

“I love you, too.”

Crowley watched Ezra’s breathing even out as he fell asleep. His own exhaustion was about to get the better of him, too. They were both naked, though. It would be fine with Crowley, but he knew Ezra wouldn’t like that so much. He’d probably wake up in the middle of the night cold and cranky trying to find pajamas in the dark. Crowley got up, his tired body resisting the whole way, and pulled on the boxers that lay in a heap by the bed. He had to do a little snooping to find Ezra’s pajama drawer and pull out some with a tartan pattern. Crowley easily was able to get the bottoms on his comatose lover. The top took some figuring out, but he did it without waking Ezra beyond a little grunt of annoyance that was quickly followed by snores. 

Crowley paused at an oval standing mirror. It was probably an antique knowing Ezra. He twisted his body a little bit to see there were some pink lines running down his back from Ezra’s nails. He couldn’t help but give a proud smirk at the sight of them. Crowley’s eyes traveled down and looked at the scar on his lower back. His face fell. He hadn’t looked at it in a long time as it was usually out of sight out of mind. He’d felt Ezra tracing it earlier. Crowley went back to the bedside and found his undershirt. 

Crowley got them both under the covers and turned off the side lamp. He cuddled up to Ezra with a fond smile and easily joined him in sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost called this chapter Lime Blossom (Fornication). On that note I realize Lemon Blossom means Discretion. . . is this why we sometimes call sex scenes lemons and limes? . . . . holy shit. . .   
> Next chapter is mostly finished and should be up soon to make up for the late update and lack of plot in this chapter.   
> Thank you to everyone who comments & kudos! I love you all! <3


	14. Fox Glove (Insecurity)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face shows up again. Insecurities are talked through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some shower sex, mild angst, and hard conversations about anxiety and insecurities in this chapter.   
> There’s a method to Gabriel’s madness, I swear.

A knock on the door at eight in the morning was an unusual thing for anyone, really. Especially on a Sunday. Ezra frowned at the door but went to answer it anyway. He was still in pajamas but the person would have to deal with that. What did they expect coming to someone’s door so early in the morning? His frown of confusion turned into a look of shock when he saw Gabriel on the other side of the door.

“How serious is it? The thing with the florist?” Gabriel looked like he hadn’t slept well since Ezra last saw him. 

“Why do you care? We broke up _months_ _ago_!” Ezra folded his arms across his chest in a huff. 

“But we _always_ get back together!” Gabriel wailed. “You don’t date and you’re always there when my flings are over!” 

Gabriel was acting like there was a set script to their lives and Ezra had forgotten his part. And Gabriel was bad at winging it. 

“Did you just assume I would hang around and wait for you every time we broke up? That I wouldn’t move on and get my own life?”

This must have been a little too much truth for Gabriel because he decided to suddenly change the subject. 

“Are you sleeping with him?”

“Why would you--That is none of your _concern_!” Ezra shrieked, scandalized by the blunt question. 

Gabriel’s accusatory finger was suddenly in his face.

“That is a ‘yes’ if I ever heard one!” he shouted.

“What I do with _my boyfriend_ , who is _not you_ by the way, is none of your business!”

“Oh blessed hell,” a new voice chimed in, causing Ezra to look over his shoulder. Crowley was glowering at Gabriel, still in boxers and undershirt from last night. “I’m up at eight in the bloody morning with a hangover because of _you_? Really?” 

“Ah ha!” Gabriel shouted, pointing at Crowley like he’d just caught the murderer in a bad detective movie. “ _Proof_ that you’re shacking up with the florist!”

Neither of them justified that with an answer. 

Crowley rubbed his forehead and winced at the sun spilling through the window. Who invented the bloody sun, anyway? He had trouble with it on regular mornings but days like this made him want to rip his eyes out. Crowley somehow still had the ability to saunter his way to Ezra’s side, though. He pressed a kiss to the side of his lover’s face. The look of distress in Ezra’s hazel eyes made him soften but he continued to shoot glares at Gabriel. 

“You alright, angel?” he asked gently, placing a hand on Ezra’s back. 

“Been better,” he answered truthfully through gritted teeth. 

“Listen, I need a shower, but after that let’s go to that coffee shop around the corner. The one with the chocolate chip scones you like?”

“That sounds lovely, dear,” Ezra beamed up at him. 

“In fact,” Crowley gathered one of Ezra’s hands in his own. He started kissing Ezra’s knuckles with intent in his golden eyes. “Why don’t you join me for that shower?”

Ezra giggled, cheeks turning pink at the implication. 

“I thought you had better taste than this, Ezra,” Gabriel’s disgusted voice broke through the moment. 

“Still here, are you?” Crowley didn’t even look at Gabriel as he pressed another kiss to Ezra’s hand. 

“What could you two _possibly_ have in common?”

“Well, we like good food and walks in the park,” Crowley started.

“Feeding ducks,” Ezra continued. “Art museums, wine. . .”

“I don’t read but I like listening to you read to me. That’s always nice.”

“Flower language! It brought us together.”

“Sex!” Crowley’s eyes glowed when he said that. “The sex is fun, yeah?”

“Oh yes,” Ezra grinned, so caught up in what was good about their relationship that he forgot to be embarrassed in front of Gabriel. He barely remembered his ex was there and why they were listing these things anyway. 

“Speaking of which,” Crowley gave a pointed look at Gabriel. “You’re keeping us from a shower.”

~*~*~*~

Under the hot spray of the shower Ezra was lost in pleasure. His eyes were closed and his mouth hanging open as Crowley pumped his cock and pressed kisses to his neck. Cold slick tile was pressed to his back and he had quickly given up on trying to get a hold on it in favor of letting his wet fingers dig into Crowley’s freckled shoulders. Crowley soon moved his hand from Ezra’s cock to his slick ass so they could bring their bodies together and rut. They soon came together. Crowley rested his head on Ezra’s shoulder as they clung to each other, shaking even thought the water was still warm. Wet, gentle fingers ran through red hair.

Crowley had been right when he said the sex was fun. Sex with Gabriel had been good, he supposed. He wouldn’t describe it as _fun_ , though. They did what Gabriel wanted and that was that. Orgasms were had. Now there was Crowley and he was trying new things like shower sex, riding, switching and dirty talk. Oh, he loved when Crowley talked dirty during sex. Not only was it hot, but sometimes it helped him decide what he wanted to try next. Ezra had a partner who let him try things it bed now! 

Crowley was giving in so many ways. He listened to Ezra. He listened when Ezra had an idea he wanted to try during sex (his usual response was “sure, I can do that”). He listened when Ezra just wanted to talk about his day or read a book to him. Sometimes Crowley surprised him with tickets to a play Ezra had mentioned wanting to see even though he liked the funny ones better. Ezra would point out a recipe and the next time he was over Crowley would have all of the ingredients. 

For the first time in a long time Ezra found he was truly happy with his choice of partner. To love someone so much, to be so happy he sometimes felt he could burst with it. . . It was terrifying. 

With Gabriel it was always when Ezra felt things were going well. When he started to relax into their routine . . . suddenly there was Gabriel with a box of Ezra’s things saying he’d met someone more interesting. 

Crowley wasn’t Gabriel, though. He was the _exact opposite_ of Gabriel, in fact. Ezra _shouldn’t_ be worried. But there was no escaping it. Not yet. 

~*~*~*~

When Ezra walked into _Eden_ he couldn’t help but pause at the sight in front of him. Crowley was talking to a customer, which wasn’t anything unusual, but she was a very. . . _attractive_ customer, to say the least. Crowley had a little half smile on as he listened to her talk and wrapped her orange tulips (understanding) neatly with nimble fingers. Ezra knew what those fingers were capable of. It was clear this woman wanted to know, too. 

“You must live a romantic life! I bet when you go on dates you always have flowers ready,” she teased. 

Crowley huffed out a laugh, smile growing a little bigger. The sight made Ezra’s heart clench. _And now is when he realizes he can do better and asks her on a date and drops me like I’m nothing because I am--_

“Yeah, my boyfriend’s gonna be sick of flowers one day, I’m sure,” Crowley said. “He gets them weekly. I even gave him flowers before we got together and slipped meanings into them using floriography.”

“That’s so sweet!” she cooed. “I hope he knows how lucky he is!”

Crowley looked over her shoulder and met eyes with Ezra. 

“Nah, _I’m_ the lucky one.”

~*~*~*~

Crowley was pouring them wine while Ezra admired the large flat. It was very sleek and modern which wasn’t a surprise. It was a mostly open floor plan with the kitchen being open to the living area and a large television taking up one wall. The couch facing it was made of black leather with clean lines. Ezra sat down on it and decided it was more comfortable than it looked. Could use some throw pillows, though. Perhaps a nice blanket thrown over the back. 

“Now where were we? Something about dolphins?”

They sat and talked over their wine for a little bit. They laughed and bantered, but Crowley could feel something was wrong. With all the reading Ezra did and he forgot dolphins were mammals? On top of that, he was barely even looking at Crowley during their talk and putting away the wine a bit faster than usual. 

“You okay, angel? You’ve been. . . distant.”

Ezra bit his lip and looked up at Crowley. 

“I’m sorry, I just. . . I’m a little mad at myself, really.”

“Can you tell me?”

“I just. . . when I saw you talking to that woman I thought you were going to break up with me to go out with her. She obviously wanted you and she was quite attractive--”

“Why would you think I’d do that?” Crowley asked, a deep frown etched on his face. “She was pretty, yeah, but I _love you_. Why would I leave you just for--” he froze, a light going off inside his mind. Crowley sighed and took Ezra’s hand in his. “Listen, Ezra, I’m not Gabriel.”

“I know that. That’s why I’m so mad at myself,” Ezra said tensely. “I guess it’s just. . . It’s a knee jerk reaction at this point. I’m just afraid that at any moment you’ll get tired of me. That you’ll realize that you’re too good for me. That. . . that you’ll meet someone who’s more in your league. . .”

“. . . I hadn’t realized what a number that he’d done on you. I knew, yeah, but I didn’t expect those worries to carry over when you were with me. But. . . fears like that are hard to just turn off, aren’t they?”

Ezra nodded, still not meeting Crowley’s eyes. 

“What if Gabriel is never completely behind us?” Ezra asked softly. 

“There _will_ come a day we won’t even _think_ about Gabriel. He _will_ be behind us one day. We just need to keep going forward.”

_Just like I’m doing with my own past._

Crowley froze, the stray thought bringing up his own insecurities. 

_What if you find out who I used to be? What if that scares you away. . ._

Ezra felt something change. He felt the grip Crowley had on his hand tighten as well as see his face grow blank. He was far away, somewhere Ezra didn’t know. 

“Crowley?” Ezra asked softly. 

Crowley blinked a couple of times, Ezra’s voice pulling him back from whatever precipice he’d been standing over. 

“I--um, yeah. . . You don’t need to worry about loosing me. That’s all.” He gave Ezra’s hand what he hoped was a reassuring pat. “Hey, I got some of that wine soaked cheese you like. It’d probably go good with this if you want me to get it--” He stood up but Ezra staid sitting and refused to let go of his hand, keeping him from going far. 

“Something’s wrong,” Ezra said softly. 

“Ngk, I just. . . It’s nothing you need to worry about, angel.”

“I’m not sure I believe you, dear.”

Crowley’s jaw clenched. For a moment Ezra thought Crowley was going to snap at him. That after all of the earlier reassurances they were going to have a fight. Then Crowley swallowed and looked down at their hands. He slowly sat back down. 

“Did you know I have the same fear?” Crowley finally said. 

“You do?”

“I. . . It’s for different reasons, though. You see: I’ve never been in love before. I’ve finally got something I didn’t even know I wanted. The thought of you walking away from me. . . It’s terrifying. I’ll be here as long as you want me to be, though. I won’t fight you because all I want is your happiness. If I don’t make you happy. . .”

“You make me _very_ happy, dear. Don’t doubt yourself.”

“For now, yeah, but. . .” Crowley froze again, unable to finish that sentence. 

“But. . . ?” Ezra pressed gently. 

“I’m not--you don’t know everything. About me.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Ezra assured him. 

_I want to, but I can’t. What if I loose you?_

Crowley staid silent but Ezra still felt his anxiety. 

“Is it in the past?” Ezra asked softly. 

“. . . Yes. I don’t--that’s not me anymore.”

“You can’t loose me over something that you _were_. All I care about is who you are _now_. That you made the choices to grow out of whatever it was into the beautiful man that you are today. You still don’t have to tell me until you’re ready. . . Even if you’re _never_ ready. I just want you to know that you won’t loose me over this.”

Ezra touched his face with his free hand and pulled him into a soft kiss. Crowley pressed their foreheads together and sighed. 

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the Crowley’s backstory plot doesn’t feel forced. I wasn’t even 100% sure if it would be in when I started posting. It was actually something I put in, took back out, rewrote, and put back in. Because writing.


	15. Tansy (I declare war on you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley considers his future with Ezra. Gabriel has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I went on vacation & didn’t get to update before we left. Still worked on it while I was gone, though. Some angst ahead! I will fix it soon I swear! Drunk update so sorry for any mistakes!

They had a pretty good routine now when it came to date nights. They liked to end most nights when they went out to dinner at Ezra’s flat. Since Ezra liked to bake he would usually have some sort of confection to end their night on with a glass of wine. Ezra would often read to Crowley when he had book club coming up. Crowley would sprawl across the sofa with his feet in Ezra’s lap as he listened. He loved Ezra’s voice. 

Then the days they staid at Crowley’s flat were usually best for take out and movies on his large smart tv. He had every streaming service and they could find whatever they wanted to watch while eating take out or cooking. Crowley liked to cook and Ezra found he liked being his sous chef. Sometimes Ezra would find a recipe in one of his many books for them to try. Much like with sex, Ezra came up with the ideas while Crowley helped make them a reality. 

They were spending most nights together now. When they were apart something felt like it was missing in their respective flats. Crowley especially felt it when Ezra wasn’t there. This was one such night when Crowley was sitting on his couch with the television on and wondering why his boyfriend wasn’t there. He guessed they couldn’t spend _every_ waking moment (outside of work) together. . . could they?

It wasn’t like he _loved_ his flat in any way. It was just a place to go at the end of the day. It was larger than Ezra’s flat. . . they could probably fit all of Ezra’s books in there. He had a guest room that he didn’t really put to good use. They could make it into a library. 

Crowley suddenly started vibrating with the thought of Ezra moving in with him. Would it be something Ezra wanted? Would he prefer Crowley move in with him? He could get behind that idea, too. There would be less to move and they could wake up later in the day because they only had to walk down stairs to their shops. 

The next time Ezra was over he’d make crepes to sweeten the deal and ask if moving in together was a possibility. 

Wherever Ezra was, Crowley wanted to be. 

~*~*~*~

Gabriel Messenger was the last person Crowley ever expected to enter his shop, but here we are. 

Neither man said a word until Gabriel pulled out a thick file and set it on the counter. 

“I had a background check done on you,” he said with a cruel smile. “How do you feel about Ezra knowing what you used to do for money?”

Crowley didn’t bother to open the file. He knew what was in there. The fact that it was in Gabriel’s hands made his heart freeze in his chest. 

“He already knows,” Crowley said, trying to sound smug to pull off the lie. “He said it’s in the past and he still loves me.” It was a half truth. Ezra didn’t know everything, only that Crowley had a stain on his past. 

Gabriel’s face went through a dozen different reactions (shock, anger, disgust) before coming back to smug. 

“Alright then. Let’s pretend for a moment that I believe you,” he said. “Every man has his price How much for you to break up with Ezra Fell?” He reached into his coat pocket to pull out a blank check and set it on top of the file. 

Crowley’s mouth fell open in shock. This man was on his way off the deep end. 

“You’re going to break up anyway, might as well get paid for it, right?” Gabriel continued with a shrug. 

After a moment Crowley gathered his wits and cleared his throat. Alright, this was actually happening. 

“What makes you so sure he’ll come back to you?”

“He always does,” Gabriel said. Smug bastard. “And you’re just in the way of that happening.”

Crowley picked up the blank check. Gabriel had already filled it out except the price. 

“Besides,” good God did Gabriel ever stop talking? “Good looking man like you? You’ll have better offers.”

This made Crowley’s eyes go wide in both shock _and_ anger. 

“I can’t decide which part of that statement was more confusing: the fact you just hit on me or that you also insulted the man you are willing to _pay_ me to break up with.”

Gabriel could only make confused babbles of anger at those words. 

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Crowley interrupted, deciding to put the poor man out of his misery.

Gabriel gave a great, braying laugh at that. Crowley had expected such and just leaned back with arms folded until he finished. 

“You’re serious?” Gabriel asked, face still lined with cynical laughter. “No, I don’t. That’s just lust, infatuation, not love. You can’t know a person the moment you meet them.”

“I loved him before I met him properly,” Crowley explained, using the check to point across the street. “He was coming out of his bookshop on a rainy day. Decided he was an angel the moment I saw him. I didn’t meet him for another few months yet.”

“Ezra’s no angel. If he is, he’s a very bad one.”

That made Crowley chuckle. “You got that right. He’s a bastard angel if I ever met one. And I wouldn’t trade him for all the money in the world.” He shoved the check onto Gabriel’s chest. 

“Love at first sight,” Gabriel grumbled to himself. “You don’t know him like I do.”

“Probably not,” Crowley shrugged. “I know a lot, though. Like how he likes tea in the morning and cocoa in the afternoon. His favorite movies are period dramas. His favorite flowers are white lilies. He likes the idea of tattoos but fears needles too much to get one of his own. He’s a morning person even though he tends to stay up half the night when he gets lost in a book. I’m learning to make crepes because I realized he loved them. He likes the sound of string instruments. He took fencing in school as well as wrestling. He’s physically stronger than me. Probably mentally stronger, too, since he put up with you for fifteen bloody years, but that’s besides the point.”

“ _Is_ there a point you’re trying to make, Crowley?”

“I’m saying I like to think I’ve got a pretty good start when it comes to knowing who Ezra is and I look forward to learning more in the years to come.”

“Touching,” Gabriel sounded like it was anything but. He turned back to the counter and picked up the thick file, holding it eye-level. “If Ezra knows about your past then you won’t mind if I take this over to _A.Z.Fell’s_ , will you?”

_Shit._ Crowley froze, eyes trained on the file. 

Gabriel smirked seeing the fear on Crowley’s face. He didn’t even have to see his eyes to know he was scared of Ezra seeing that file. 

“Break up with him and he’ll never have to know.”

“I already told you: _he knows_.”

“I’ll just take this over there, then.”

“ _Don’t!_ ” 

Gabriel paused, but his smile grew. That desperate shout gave everything away. 

“Don’t. . .” Crowley repeated softly. “Ezra knows, but he _doesn’t_ know, y’see? He. . . He knows my past isn’t clean. I haven’t told him what I did, though. He said he wouldn’t leave me because it’s in the past and I can tell him when I’m ready.”

“How ready are you to put that to the test, then?”

He wasn’t. He wasn’t anywhere near ready. He wasn’t ready to see Ezra’s disappointed face as he went back on his promise to love Crowley no matter what was in his past. He wasn’t ready to loose Ezra like this. 

“Make your choice, Crowley. Break up with him or I show him this.”

The first and last time he had talked about this with Ezra he had been so wonderfully reassuring. Saying it didn’t matter and Crowley shouldn’t worry about loosing him over this. . . Crowley was still afraid, though, and he would _be_ afraid until they finally sat down and talked about it. 

_I’m not going to break up with him just to avoid a hard conversation. He’s too important to me._

“Show him,”Crowley said, finally. “If he wants to leave once he reads that file. . . It just wasn’t meant to be, was it?” He shrugged like it didn’t mean anything, when in it really meant everything. 

~*~*~*~

Ezra was surprised to see Gabriel walking into the bookshop once again. 

“Hello Gabriel, please go away,” he said like he was shooing away a stray cat before turning away. “I’m closing up. I have a date with Crowley tonight.”

“I doubt you’ll want to see him anymore after seeing this,” Gabriel said, holding out a thick manila folder. 

Ezra eyed the folder warily. 

“What did you do, Gabriel?”

“Just thought I’d do some digging,” he said with a shrug. “For your protection, of course. If he’s really the one you want to be with I wanted to make sure you were safe with him. Turns out he has quite a few skeletons in his closet.”

“That’s. . . everything?”

“Everything.”

Ezra would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious. He wasn’t going to push Crowley to talk about things he didn’t want to, though. Crowley’s past was both a big deal and not a problem to Ezra. If Crowley ever brought himself to tell Ezra, he would be all ears, but it wasn’t anything he felt would change how he felt about Crowley.

“I shouldn’t,” Ezra said, turning away. 

“Don’t you _want_ to know?”

“Yes, but--”

“But he doesn’t trust you, I understand.”

“That’s not true! He’s just. . . afraid. . .”

“Afraid you’ll leave once you know? Your love must not be very strong, then.”

“How _dare_ you!” Ezra shouted, puffing up like an offended owl. “You know _nothing_ about our relationship. But I’ll tell you this: it’s stronger than ours _ever_ was.” His bright eyes bored into Gabriel’s as he spoke those words with conviction. 

“Then why doesn’t he trust you enough not to leave?” Gabriel raised the file up with an arched eyebrow. “If you love him, then whatever is in this file doesn’t matter. Correct?”

“Correct,” Ezra confirmed, swallowing his nerves. 

“Then why can’t he see that?”

Slowly, Ezra held out his hand. With a triumphant grin Gabriel placed Crowley’s past in his waiting palm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is it whenever Crowley decides to take a step forward with Ezra, Gabriel shows up in the flower shop?! What, you think I control these characters?


	16. Bellflower (Unwavering Love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley opens up about his past to Ezra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talks about Crowley’s past life of crime. Also a warning about mentions of past violence. Crowley shouts at plants as a coping mechanism. More Crowley angst but you probably expected that. Should I tag for past criminal activities or something of the sort? I’m new to tagging & I’m bad at it.

Ezra calmly took the file and set it on his desk for inspection. He went to put on his little gold glasses before opening it. He froze in his motions just as he lifted the cover. . . and he closed it. 

_This is Crowley’s past. It’s not up to Gabriel to show me this._

“Do I have to give this back to you when I finish?” he asked primly. 

Gabriel frowned at Ezra’s pause. He wanted to get this over with and perhaps “comfort” Ezra over his failing relationship tonight. 

“If you want to take your time on it I can come pick it up tomorrow?” he suggested with a shrug. 

“Thank you,” Ezra said with a small (fake) smile. 

Gabriel turned to leave but paused and turned back when he heard Ezra suddenly call his name. 

“No matter what happens between Crowley and I. . . I’m not going back to you,” Ezra said with finality. 

Gabriel opened his mouth to argue but Ezra silenced him with a calm hand. 

“I know you, Gabriel. You _hate_ not getting what you want. The only reason you are doing this is because for once in fifteen years I don’t want you back.”

“You only don’t want me back because _he_ ’s in the way.”

“No, it was time,” Ezra said softly, shaking his head. “We weren’t going anywhere and you treated me horribly.”

“I put up with you, didn’t I?”  
“There it is,” he sighed. “I need someone who doesn’t say things like that to me. It’s _demeaning_ , Gabriel, and I won’t stand to be treated like that anymore. If you loved me you wouldn’t just ‘put up with me.’ Crowley doesn’t ask me to change for him and he doesn’t look down on me. He _respects_ me. I know what that’s like now and I’m not going back to someone who treats me any less than he does.”

~*~*~*~

Crowley knew it was useless to pick up Ezra for their date, so he just went home and opened a bottle of whisky. He was running away and he knew it. He was always running. 

Ezra was probably going over the police reports and mugshots right now. He was probably trying to figure out the best way to break up with Crowley once he finished. 

There was a _chance_ , though. It’s why he took this option from Gabriel. Ezra had said he wouldn’t leave Crowley over things that were behind him. What would he do once confronted with the reality of it, though? Crowley liked to hope Ezra would keep his promise. That this wouldn’t ruin them. . . 

Crowley drank half of his first glass in one go, barely tasting it. He needed to be drunk. He needed to stop thinking about Ezra, Gabriel, the past. . . He’d been so happy. Of course something like this was going to happen. Fuck, he’d even been considering asking Ezra to move in together. 

Crowley wasn’t sure who to be more angry at: Gabriel (for butting his nose in where it didn’t belong) or himself. He wasn’t sure exactly _why_ he was so mad at himself, though. For letting himself be happy and find love? Crowley wasn’t sure he could _ever_ regret loving Ezra, even if this was the end of them. Perhaps he was just angry about what he’d done. . . but he had been young, stupid, and needed money. 

Being angry at the past was so pointless. Nothing could be done to change it. All he could do was live his life and each day it was a little farther behind him. 

The knock on the door was unexpected. And unwelcome. Couldn’t people see he was trying to wallow in self-loathing over here?

“Nobody’s home! Leave a message after the beep! BEEEE--”

“Crowley? It’s me, dear.”

Crowley jumped to his feet at hearing Ezra’s voice. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to run and open the door or leave him out there. Why was he here? Did he want to talk about it? Stay together? Break up with him face to face and crush his fragile heart into tiny pieces? Only one way to find out. 

Crowley straightened his shirt and sauntered as casually as he could to the door. As promised, on the other side stood Ezra wearing a soft smile and holding a manila folder to his chest. Crowley’s eyes went from Ezra’s face to the folder several times, unsure what to make of the current situation. 

“You didn’t pick me up for our date, so I thought I’d come to you.”

“. . . Wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”

“You knew what Gabriel was doing, didn’t you?”

Crowley swallowed thickly and nodded. 

“This is yours,” Ezra said, holding the file out to him. “It’s your own personal business. I won’t look unless you want me to.”

Crowley slowly took the offered file, eyes still wary. 

“You didn’t look?”

“No. You said you’d tell me if you were ever ready.”

Crowley leaned down and pressed their foreheads together for a moment, eyes closed as he gathered his thoughts. 

“I don’t want us to have any secrets,” Crowley whispered. Neither of them were sure if he was talking to himself or Ezra. Perhaps it was simply both. 

Crowley made a decisive noise and took Ezra’s hand, leading him to the couch. He placed the file on the coffee table between them. He finished the glass of whisky and refilled it. If Crowley was going to talk about this, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be sober. Ezra cleared his throat beside him and gave a pointed look at the bottle. 

“Oh, right, you want a glass? You’ll need it. I know I do.”

“That would be lovely, dearest.”

Crowley brought Ezra a glass and poured him some of his own. He settled back into the sofa with a now full glass in hand and sighed. 

“It’s not something I _meant_ to happen. I just . . . hung around with the wrong people.”

Crowley placed a hand on the thick folder and braced himself. He flipped it open to the first page for Ezra to inspect. 

Ezra gasped at the mugshot on top and picked it up with something like shock on his face. Then he smiled warmly and looked at Crowley. 

“You look so young here! How long ago was this, dear?” Ezra asked. 

“Baby’s first mugshot,” Crowley chuckled wryly. “Probably about twenty years?”

“Ah, yes, there’s the date. Eighteen, so you were close.” Ezra paused over the picture. “Still handsome, even in mugshots.”

“Guess the beginning is just as good a place as any to start,” he sighed. “Y’see, me and Luke kinda reconnected. We didn’t get back together or anything, but he had a ‘business proposition’ for me. . .”

Luke had remembered how Crowley had easily climbed from the back to the front of his cramped sedan. He needed someone limber and quiet. He’d needed a thief and Crowley needed money. 

Crowley and Ezra talked over the pictures and police reports. Some things Crowley barely remembered. He might have to thank Gabriel for giving him the tools to show Ezra everything. His source had been quite thorough in charting those thirteen years of his criminal life. Crowley had only been arrested twice. He was good at what he did. 

Ezra picked up one of the reports and for the the first time looked a little disapproving. 

“So, wait, you _actually stole a_ \--”*

“Yes,” Crowley cut him off, looking pained. “Please don’t ask.”

“This is the worst revelation so far: my boyfriend is an idiot.” 

“In my defense: I was drunk, overconfident, and Ligur dared me!”

“None of that is helping your case, dear.”

They looked at each other for a moment before they burst into laughter. It took a few moments before Crowley could continue. 

“That all ended when Hastur tried to kill me so he wouldn’t have to pay me. Still got the scar. I know you’ve felt it.”

“Oh my dear. . .”

“When I was recovering from the wound Bee brought me some plants. One was the venus fly trap I still have in the flat. They got them to keep me company and give me something to do. Said taking care of something might help my mental state or something. I shouted at them instead. It felt good to take my anger out on something that didn’t matter. Realized I was doing something right and the plants grew really well in the end.”

“And that’s why you grow plants now,” Ezra said, gentle wonder in his voice. 

“That’s right,” Crowley smiled back. 

Ezra flipped through the file a little bit and took a sip of his own whisky. 

“You’re too good for me. The proof is right there,” Crowley said softly. 

Ezra picked his head up and frowned at the words. He opened his mouth to retort but Crowley beat him to it. 

“If you want to leave, I’ll understand.” 

“Why would I leave when that’s not who you are anymore?” Ezra asked, a little insulted. “It’s a part of you, yes, but it’s behind you and you grew from it. You chose to grow flowers and make an honest living through those. In the end, those flowers brought you to me.”

~*~*~*~

Even though Ezra said there wasn’t a chance of them getting back together, Gabriel returned the next morning as promised to pick up Crowley’s file. Ezra’s words had stung, he’d admit that much. It made him want to see Crowley and Ezra’s downfall even more, though. 

His first clue that things didn’t go as planned was that Ezra handed it over easily with a smile, not a tear in sight. 

“So, did you look through it? All of it?” Gabriel clarified, suspicion in his voice. 

“Oh yes, I helped him,” another voice piped up. Crowley walked around a bookcase with a smile on his face. “Thanks by the way. For the visual aids. Was so long ago I forgot some of it.”

Gabriel’s smug face turned to one of horror as he looked between the two of them. 

“You-wait. . . _what?!_ ”

“He told me,” Ezra said, facing Gabriel now. “I don’t care.”

“After all he did _you don’t care?_ He-he-he--” Gabriel pointed angrily at Crowley, trying to get the furious words out. 

“He sells flowers now,” Ezra smiled at Crowley. “And he loves me. That’s all I need.”

Gabriel looked two seconds from tearing his perfect hair out. 

“Fine!” he shouted and slammed the folder onto the front counter. They were copies and he hadn’t really needed them. He’d just wanted to come back and see Ezra’s relationship fall apart. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you when he goes back on his old ways and ruins your life.” He left in a flurry of anger, slamming the front door behind him. 

Crowley and Ezra turned back to the counter where Gabriel had left the innocuous manila folder. 

“It’s _your_ past,” Ezra said softly. “Do with it as you like.”

Crowley placed a hand on the file before sliding it across the desk and into the trash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Penguin. My husband decided that Crowley stole a penguin at some point in his past. I don’t know why and I’m not sure he does either. This is me working in a private joke, basically. 
> 
> Hope I did this okay and didn’t bring the story down by adding this element of Crowley’s background. I almost did a cutaway that didn’t explain it anymore than he was a criminal of some sort, but it didn’t quite feel right to me. I’ll be doing more on it in the future. Another bonus chapter? Sequel?! Not sure yet. . . but it begs to be written!  
> The only point I wanted to make for right now is that he grew from it and Ezra doesn’t love him any less.


	17. Celandine (Joys to Come)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra and Crowley move forward in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of depression.

Ezra woke to the sound of a mixer going and the smell of something delicious. He smiled and stretched before getting out of bed. It was rare that Crowley was up first as he wasn’t a morning person and that got Ezra’s curiosity up. He ambled into the kitchen to find Crowley, still in his pajamas, in front of the stove. It took Ezra a moment to realize he wasn’t fixing pancakes, but crepes, and placing them between two plates. Crowley tasted the cream cheese filling and nodded his approval before filling and folding the delicate crepes. 

“Need any help?” Ezra piped up. 

Crowley jumped a little and turned to see his boyfriend was indeed up and looking very interested in what he was doing. 

“I think I’ve got it. . . You like cherries right? I have cherry pie filling and I was gonna mix it with amaretto to go on top.”

“That sounds _heavenly_ , darling.”

Crowley made a nervous “Ngk” sound and went to fix the topping between crepes. 

“I’ve, uhm, I’ve been practicing. Thought I’d surprise you when I had it right.”

“I’m sure they’ll be lovely. You’re such a great cook.”

Soon they sat in the breakfast nook each with a plate of cherry cheesecake crepes. Ezra couldn’t help but notice that there was a little arrangement of blue iris, baby’s breath, and ivy sitting on the table. (faith & hope, everlasting love, endurance & faithfulness) Crowley rarely put out flowers in his house so Ezra was tipped off that it was a special occasion somehow. 

“Oh! It’s been a year, hasn’t it?” Ezra said suddenly. 

Crowley froze, fork about to pierce his crepe upon hearing the words. 

“A year?”

“Since we met, dear!”

Crowley took out his phone and checked the dates, eyebrows raised. 

“I came into _Eden_ around this time last year,” Ezra continued to explain. “You gave me an arrangement of yellow roses and daisies. Took us nearly three months to get together after that, though.”

“You’re right,” Crowley confirmed, a small smile on his face making his dimples show. “Happy Anniversary, then.”

“Happy Anniversary, love.”

They clinked mugs together and tucked in. Ezra gave a soft moan of approval once taking a bite and Crowley couldn’t help but blush at the sound. It was a sound he strove for each time he cooked. 

Crowley and Ezra finished off breakfast and enjoyed their morning coffee and tea in a comfortable silence. Ezra stared out the window at the city skyline while Crowley admired the way his lover’s blonde hair glowed in the daylight.

“I could wake up every morning like this,” Ezra declared, taking another sip of tea. 

Crowley knew that was true for himself, too. It was the perfect opener to ask Ezra to move in together. He opened his mouth to do so, but instead something else slipped past his lips.

“Marry me.”

Ezra gasped and turned to look at Crowley who was smiling nonchalantly back at him. In reality he was vibrating wildly on the inside. 

_Holyshitholyshitholyshit that wasn’t what I was gonna say but I did and I want it more than I think I did please I hope you want it too holyfuckingshitshitshit---_

“Really?” Ezra asked softly.

“Really,”Crowley took a sip of coffee to cover his nerves. His mug trembled the entire time. 

“ _Yes,_ ” Ezra breathed out, nodding rapidly. 

Crowley gave a broad smile and leaned in for a kiss. It was Crowley’s turn to ask confirmation because this was just too good to be true.

“Really?” 

“Yes, really!” Ezra laughed and kissed him again. 

~*~*~*~

Gabriel was giving dating another try. He’d met someone named Jacob who reminded him a little of Ezra. He loved books, had blonde hair, and had a little tummy on him. Jacob, however, wouldn’t change for Gabriel. Gabriel always suggested he start eating healthier or running with him in the morning. Jacob would laugh and say “good one!” before ordering another steak. It was a work in progress. 

They were walking together when they saw a moving truck and a pile of boxes blocking part of the sidewalk. Gabriel sighed at the minor inconvenience. . . then he saw the two men moving the boxes inside the building. The redheaded felon-turned-florist was kicking the door open to take a box inside and Ezra was moving boxes from the bed of the truck to the sidewalk. 

“Ezra? What’s going on?”

Ezra looked up to see Gabriel with a pale imitation of himself on his arm. 

“Hello, Gabriel,” he started, setting down the box he was holding. “Crowley is moving in with me,” he explained, grinning broadly. 

“Oh,” Gabriel glared at the boxes like they’d done him a disservice. “You guys are moving. . . fast.”

“It’s been nearly a year,” Ezra shrugged. 

“As long as we were together you never moved in with me.”

“We never got engaged, either.”

That made Gabriel’s mouth fall open.

“Oh, congratulations!” said the yet to be introduced boyfriend. 

“Thank you,” Ezra smiled at the poor dear. 

“I guess it’s your life now and you can ruin it however you want.” Though the words were harsh there was no real bite to the way he said them. It was like he was just going through the motions at this point. 

Ezra’s smile fell and he shot a glare at his ex. “Not everyone is afraid of commitment. Mind how you go.”

~*~*~*~

“That wasn’t very nice of you,” Jacob admonished when they were out of earshot. 

“That was Ezra, my ex,” Gabriel explained. “He left me after a long relationship for someone else. Someone he’s apparently going to _marry_ ,” he spat out the word like a curse. 

“I gathered he was an ex, yes. He cheated on you with this other man?”

“No, no. . . He waited until we broke up. At least that’s what he _said_.”

“How long were you together?”

“Fifteen years, off and on.”

“ _Fifteen_ years?” Jacob gasped. “ _Off and on?_ So you never committed in that length of time?”

“. . . well--”

“No wonder he found someone who could make up their mind to be with him in a years time.”

“. . . I think we should see other people.”

“If you’re going to lead me on like you did him, I agree.”

Jacob dropped Gabriel’s arm like it caught fire. Just as Jacob started to walk in the opposite direction, he paused. 

“I always knew something was wrong. You always seem so. . . sad. . .”

Gabriel wasn’t sure if that was true of not. He didn’t really feel _sad_. . . he didn’t feel much of anything anymore, really. . .

“Listen, I hope you find the right person, Gabriel,” he said. “It’s just not me. Nor is it Ezra.” Jacob jerked his thumb over his shoulder to indicate the bookseller currently unloading a truck behind them. 

Gabriel swallowed and looked over Jacob’s shoulder at Ezra. Oh. . . _there_ was the sadness Jacob was talking about. . .

Ezra wasn’t paying them any attention. He was taking off his coat and rolling up his sleeves. Crowley (his fucking _fiance_ ) brought him a bottle of water which earned him a kiss on the cheek. Gabriel could almost see his blush from where they were standing. 

“I hope you find them, though,” Jacob continued. He offered Gabriel a small smile before turning his back and leaving. 

~*~*~*~

Gabriel grumbled to himself as he made his way up the stairs to Ezra’s flat. What did Jacob know, anyways? There was no way Ezra was truly happy without him. Surly he was just being stubborn and was just as miserable as Gabriel was. He came to the flat door which was slightly open with some boxes just outside. He rose a hand to knock but something inside made him stop. 

“Where’s this box go, dear?” Ezra’s voice came from the other side. 

“Leave it there, angel. I’ll get it.” Crowley came into view in front of Ezra. His glasses were off which was rare and his hands were in his pockets. There was something self conscious in his stance. Gabriel barely knew him and he could tell something was wrong. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Ezra asked, picking up on the same thing. 

“Me, huh? You want me? You can back out now, no one would blame you. Least of all me. . .”

Ezra softened and reached forward to take Crowley’s head in his hands. With a reassuring smile he pressed a soft kiss to Crowley’s lips. 

“Yes, my dear. You.”

“Forever?”

“Of course.”

Had. . . Had he and Ezra _ever_ looked at each other like that? There was so much love in their eyes at that moment. . . Ezra really was happy. . .

“Here, in case you go doubting again,” Ezra took off his pinky ring and slipped it onto Crowley’s left ring finger. Crowley only answered with a panicked “Ngk” sound. Ezra pressed a soft kiss to his lover’s hand. “There. Now lets get you moved in.”

The last thing Gabriel saw before leaving was Crowley smiling down at his new ring and checking that it fit right. Somehow it was a perfect fit. . . just like they were. 

_You know_ nothing _about our relationship! But I’ll tell you this: it’s stronger than ours_ ever _was. -- I’m saying I like to think I’ve got a pretty good start when it comes to knowing who Ezra is and I look forward to learning more in the years to come. --_ _He sells flowers now. And he loves me. That’s all I need._

Gabriel backed away from the door and put his hands in his pockets. He turned and started making his way out of the building. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He finally hit the final stage of grief. Still an asshole, though. 
> 
> I have another story written that goes in this universe. It’s like an AU of if Gabriel had truly been evil. Yes, I was holding him back. It has all the warnings and tags and is almost the opposite of this story in some ways. It was like my brain needed to balance the universe and write something dark while writing something light. I might get up the nerve to post it sometime. . . . we’ll see.


	18. Lavender (Happiness)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lovely wedding (and wedding night).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Life got in the way. . . also, a bad case of writers block :/

Usually, when we picture the day we marry the love of our life we expect sunshine and flowers. The day Anthony and Ezra Crowley-Fell got married there was nothing but rain and gray skies. There _were_ flowers, though. There was love. And the world was far from feeling as gray as it looked outside. 

They expected to get married in their favorite park but had to move it inside the bookshop. It was a small wedding with only their closest friends in attendance, so it was easy enough to fit between ten to fifteen people inside. 

They told Anathema what flowers to use and put her in charge of the decorations as well as the boutonnieres. Crowley didn’t want to have anything to worry about besides his vows and his tux. 

“Haven’t worn a tie in ages,” Crowley grumbled. “Think you can help me with this, love?”

“Of course, dearest,” Ezra said, standing from his place on the bed and going to his fiance. 

They had chosen to get ready together in their bedroom instead of hiding from each other until the ceremony. All the same, as Ezra fixed Crowley’s tie, this felt more intimate than any big reveal. Ezra felt more at ease spending this time with Crowley than he would have felt without him. It was better to be nervous together than complete wrecks separately. Crowley also would have had to find someone to fix his tie. 

They both wore black tuxedos but with different waistcoats and ties. Crowley wore red with a silver snake pattern. Ezra wore white with golden feathers as well as a bow tie. 

“Doing alright, dear?”

“Yeah, yeah. . . perfectly alright, me.”

Ezra looked up and met Crowley’s eyes. 

“It’s alright to be nervous. I know I am,” Ezra said gently. 

“I’m never nervous,” Crowley deflected, the tremor in his voice betraying him. 

“Of course not, dear.”

A knock on the door broke the moment. 

“You boys decent?” Anathema called. “I’ve got boutonnieres!”

Anathema set the small boxes on the kitchen island as well as another box of extra flowers in case of emergencies. She tilted her head when she saw Crowley had pulled part of his hair back so it was out of his face. 

“Is that how you’re wearing your hair for the ceremony?” she asked, eyes narrow in thought. 

“Yeah, why? Something wrong?” he asked, picking up the red rose boutonniere. 

“Oh no, I was just wondering: can I put flowers in it? I’ve got extra white roses here. I bet they’d really show up in your red hair.”

“Ngk, I dunno--” Crowley said, nose wrinkling. True, he _was_ getting married and he _was_ a florist. . . but wearing white roses of all things in his hair messed with his aesthetic.

“Oh, that sounds lovely!” Ezra cooed. 

“. . . Yeah?”

“Yes! In fact, you can have the white rose boutonniere to match.”

Crowley decided to go along with it in the end (which had nothing to do with Ezra’s giving him those wide eyes he couldn’t say no to, no sir) and was soon sitting with Anathema behind him affixing delicate flowers to his hair. She braided his hair first to better hold the flowers then slipped a couple of rose buds on each side with a larger rose blooming at the center. She filled in with some baby’s breath but tried not to get too much for fear of them all falling out. 

Once the roses were fixed into Crowley’s hair Ezra placed another white rose on his jacket. Crowley put the red rose on Ezra’s jacket, hands only shaking a little. Ezra gently took both of those shaking hands and kissed the ring that circled a long finger. 

_I’m not going anywhere._

“Ready?” asked Ezra, gazing up at him. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Crowley couldn’t help but smile. 

Anathema had wrapped the four pillars at the center of the shop in flowers. There were white roses, white lilies, and lily of the valley which were expected at most weddings, but then they had thrown in black and red tulips as well as red roses in a beautiful contrast. 

Anathema’s grandmother, Agnes Nutter, was ordained. She spoke like someone who didn’t belong in this century, but sometimes Ezra didn’t either. Neither were sure why, but it felt right to have her be the one to marry them. 

During the ceremony, Crowley’s nerves gave way to genuine excitement. _Holy shit_ , he was actually getting married! To _Ezra_! Crowley became so lost in his happiness he kissed Ezra sometime in the middle of it and was scolded by Agnes to wait until she told him to. 

“I love him!” he said, voice cracking as he was on the brink of happy tears. 

“We know, Crowley. That’s why we are here.”

They took a moment to rest their foreheads against each other and breath for a moment before they could continue. 

“The first time I saw you, you didn’t see me,” Crowley began. “It was raining and you gave a woman your umbrella so she wouldn’t get wet. I was gone for you right then and I’m not even sure I knew it. I didn’t even know your name so I just called you _angel_ in my head. Then you came in my store and you were even more beautiful up close. I learned your name, but I still called you angel. Because you are everything I’ve ever wanted. Because you love me even though sometimes I feel I don’t deserve such love. Because you are the light of my life and I want to give the rest of that life to you.”

Ezra’s eyes welled up with his own happy tears as Crowley finished his vows and placed a ring on his finger. A golden ring with a round white diamond and angel wings engraved into the thick band. Crowley kissed the ring once it was where it belonged. 

“I remember the first time I saw you, too,” Ezra said, after taking a moment to clear his tightening throat. “I thought you were so handsome that I would never be brave enough to even _speak_ to you. I can’t tell you how glad I was to take that first step. I went into your shop because I wanted to talk to you. I thought I’d come out with a new friend, but instead I found my soulmate. I found someone who helped me be brave. Someone who loved me for who I was. I love you more than words can express and I will continue to love you for the rest of my life.”

Ezra pulled out a ring with a square ruby and scales engraved into the thick silver band. The rings had the same basic elements, but matched each of their styles perfectly. Ezra slipped the ring on Crowley’s finger and kissed it much like Crowley had done for him. 

“Then by the power vested in me, I pronounce you both married,” Agnes smiled between them. 

Crowley started bouncing and looking from Ezra to Agnes with clear excitement in his golden eyes. 

“Alright, I’ll put you out of your misery. You may kiss him.”

Crowley took Ezra’s face in his hands and did as he was told. 

~*~*~*~

After photos Ezra and Anthony Crowley-Fell sat in the Bentley trading kisses for a little while. They just needed to be together alone for a moment before they headed to the Ritz to meet their friends for dinner. The rain had slowed down to nearly a sprinkle now. Raindrops gently patted on the windows as soft kisses were exchanged. 

“You married me,” Crowley sighed, still in disbelief. 

“And you married me,” Ezra said before pressing another kiss to his husband’s (!!!) lips. “We should go before they start eating without us.” 

“They wouldn’t dare.”

More kisses were shared.

“Maybe they’ll leave us some cake and champagne. . .” Ezra giggled against Crowley’s lips. 

“It’s a crepe cake, remember?”

Crowley soon regretted saying that because those words snapped Ezra out of their blissful moment rather quickly. 

“Oh goodness! Best get a wiggle on!” 

“I see where your priorities are _now_.”

“We’ll have sex _after_ cake!”

They went to the Ritz and ate a lovely dinner among friends with champagne and a beautiful crepe cake at the end. Everyone took a moment to talk about the happy couple. Anathema told everyone about meeting Crowley and seeing his aura change. Tracy talked about seeing the flowers in the bookshop and knowing they were from someone special. 

Later in the night, after stories were told and crepe cakes were cut, they made their way up to the honeymoon suite of the Ritz. The staff had left a bouquet of red roses as well as complementary champagne and chocolates for the couple. On a lush bed Ezra helped Crowley get the white roses out of his hair so they could take advantage of the large tub together. 

“Is it strange that I’m a little bit nervous?” asked Ezra, his anxious fingers fidgeting with a rose. 

“It’s not the first time we’ve slept together, angel,” Crowley said, a little confused by the statement. “We’re already living together and everything.”

“Yes, but now you’re my _husband_. It’s like. . . _nothing_ has changed and yet _everything_ has changed at the same time.”

“My husband,” Crowley grinned. “I can’t get over that I get to say that now.”

“Me too,” Ezra agreed, returning his grin. 

“We don’t even have to have sex tonight if you’re too tired,” he added. “If it feels like too much our first time as a married couple doesn’t have to be tonight. It can be sometime after we get to Paris, if you’d rather. Or even when we get back home to the bookshop.”

_Even now he’s willing to wait for me._

“Let’s have a bath, then we can decide,” Ezra said. “Perhaps the warm water will melt away the stress.”

Soon they were laying in a hot bubble bath with Crowley stretched out on his back and Ezra laying on his front, head resting against his lover’s chest. Ezra could hear Crowley’s heart beat as he rested his cheek against coarse chest hair. Ezra had a tub, but it was never quite big enough for both of them like this. He remembered nights before they had gotten together fantasizing about Crowley while he touched himself there. Ezra couldn’t help but blush at the memory. He felt his hips start to thrust between the long legs that bracketed his body. Ezra turned his head and pressed kisses to the thin chest he’d been resting on. 

“Looks like someone’s a bit less nervous?” Crowley chuckled.

“Maybe a bit,” Ezra admitted, nuzzling his collar bones. 

“Should we move?”

Ezra felt Crowley’s cock begin to harden and press into his chest. He pulled himself up and pressed a kiss to Crowley’s lips. 

“Therein lies the dilemma,” he smiled. “I don’t want to get out, but I also want to be inside of you.”

Crowley gave a toothy grin back. He reached over the side of the tub with a long arm and brought up a small bottle of lube. 

“Way ahead of you, love.”

“I can’t be inside of you beneath the water, though!” Ezra paused. “Can I?”

“Honestly not sure. . . Better safe than sorry. Hold on.” Crowley turned around and got on his knees in front of Ezra. He undid the stopper to let a little bit of water drain out. Once the water was just below his ass he stopped it up again. Crowley took hold of the tub’s rim and looked over his shoulder, golden eyes full of mischief. 

“How’s this work for you, angel?”

This was actually something they hadn’t done before. Unless they were giving rim jobs or doing 69 they were always face to face during sex. Ezra vaguely remembered having an aversion to it, something about it being impersonal. . . . but right now he liked the view. Crowley on his knees for him, pert ass in the air, wet hair sticking to his freckled shoulders. . . Ezra took the lube and started opening up his lover. Crowley was already relaxed from the hot water he’d been sitting in so it didn’t take long. They got a towel to soften the hard tub under their knees. They were both in their early forties, after all. 

They both groaned when Ezra finally pushed in. Ezra ran a hand over the tan back, admiring the way Crowley’s strong muscles worked with each thrust. The wing tattoo that ran from his back to his arm trembled with the movements. Ezra found the puckered scar on his lower back, tracing it with his thumb as he held tight to Crowley’s side. The hand that had been running over Crowley’s back took hold of his red hair and pulled so Ezra could get a good view of that long neck arching. Hair pulling always got Crowley’s mouth going, too. 

“Oh angel, oh please. . .”

“You’re so beautiful like this, dearest,” Ezra said, leaning down to press a kiss to the wing decorating tan skin. “What do you need? You know I’ll give it to you.”

“Just - _fuck-_ just _harder_ , angel,” Crowley gasped out, looking over his shoulder to meet Ezra’s eyes. “Fucking _wreck_ me.”

Ezra complied and Crowley screamed at each thrust. Crowley came, shaking and crying his husband’s name. His hands were white knuckled on the edge of the tub from trying not to just fall face first into the soapy water below. Crowley felt Ezra’s grip on his hips suddenly tighten and his thrusts become erratic. He didn’t even have to look over his shoulder to know Ezra was coming, too. 

~*~*~*~

Now donning complementary bathrobes, they returned to the bedroom slightly limping from the way they had just murdered their knees in the tub. 

“The things you talk me into sometimes,” Ezra complained, trying to get his legs to bend correctly. 

“Worth it,” Crowley smirked. “I’d do it again, too.” 

“I’d do the _position_ again, just somewhere soft. Like a bed.” Ezra collapsed on said bed once he reached it. 

Crowley laid down beside him, smiling. 

“I never knew I’d be this lucky,” Crowley admitted. “That I’d get to have you in my bed every night. That you’d love me in spite of. . . everything.”

Ezra reached out and touched Crowley’s cheek. 

“I feel the same,” Ezra breathed. “I thought for a long time that no one would love me. And yet. . . here you are.”

“Here _we_ are,” Crowley corrected. He turned and pressed a kiss into Ezra’s palm. 

“Yes, darling,” Ezra smiled brightly. “Here we are.”

~*~*~*~

As time went on it became harder and harder to remember a time they didn’t have each other. The thought became almost impossible for them to comprehend. It was as if they had loved each other since the beginning of time time and would continue to do so until the very end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a ride! Thank you for taking this journey with me! I just realized how proud I am of this story and how it has everything I like in it. I’m also really proud of myself for sharing it with all of you despite my anxiety and crippling self doubt. Thank you all for reading <3
> 
> This is the official end, but I have one more bonus chapter left! Angel/Demon roleplay sex!


	19. Thornapple aka Hell’s Bells (Disguise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BONUS CHAPTER: An angel and a demon meet in a garden. . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some angel/demon roleplay as I had been hinting at since near the beginning of the story. Sex is a little rough and even has some consent play but only for a moment. Also has being held down during sex, biting, and a sex toy. Everything is consensual of course. They have a safe word.   
> Sorry this took so long! I was writing away and hit a wall because of course I did. I powered through and I hope you enjoy it!

“I was just wondering: are you still interested in roleplay, angel?” Crowley asked. 

Ezra blushed brightly. “Y-yes, I believe so.”

Crowley ran his eyes over Ezra and his smile grew toothy, like a predator. “I remember you talking about an angel and a demon. Did the demon happen to have eyes like this?” He pulled down his sunglasses to reveal yellow snake eyes instead of warm gold. 

“ _Oh!_ ” Ezra gasped and had to take a step back. “Oh _good lord._ ”

“Like them, do you, angel?”

Ezra nodded and looked away shyly as Crowley grew closer. 

“Do I look like a demon?” he asked. “One who wants to tempt a pure, sssweet angel to sin?”

Their eyes met again and Crowley noticed Ezra’s eyes had dilated. Oh yes, this would be fun. . .

Crowley sat down at the kitchen island and winked at Ezra. 

“Well? Tell me about this fantasy and I’ll do my best.”

~*~*~*~

An angel stood in a garden admiring the lush green plants around him. He fiddled with the white sheet covering his body when he heard movement behind him. A demon entered wearing a loose black shirt and pants that clung tightly to his slim legs like a second skin made of black snake scales. In his hands he passed an apple back and forth. 

“Hello ssssweet angel,” the wily serpent hissed. 

“Demon,” the angel greeted curtly. He turned back to the plants and gave one a sniff, taking in it’s sweet aroma. 

“Crawly, actually.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” the angel turned back when he realized he was being spoken to.

“Crawly. My name.”

“Ah yes, of course,” he chuckled nervously. “Aziraphale.”

“Nice to meet you, Aziraphale,” the demon leaned in close now, holding out the apple in offering. “Hungry?”

Aziraphale eyed the shiny red fruit before looking up into the yellow eyes of a serpent. 

“Have a tasssste,” Crawly urged. 

“No thank you,” Aziraphale shook his head, turning away from the offered snack. 

“Oh why not?” the demon pouted. 

“It is forbidden,” he said simply. 

“Only to humans, angel, which we are not,” he reminded Aziraphale. Crawly took a bite of the apple, letting the juice run down his chin. Once he swallowed and wiped his mouth he decided to continue. “If I wanted you to ssssin I’d think of something else.” A pointed black nail traced the angel’s bare arm. “Pretty, pure thing. . . I bet you taste better than any apple.”  
“I’m not playing your game, demon!” Aziraphale shouted, pulling away. “Get thee behind me, foul fiend!”

Crawly only looked amused by the words. 

“I like the sound of that, angel,” he said with a wink. 

He offered up the apple again with a waggle of his eyebrows. This time Aziraphale took it. He eyed the broken skin and turned it to a place the demon hadn’t already bitten before taking his own bite. Crawly watched, intrigued, before casually leaning back into the angel’s space. 

“Do you think a foul demon such as myself can be saved?” he asked, curious. 

“I’m sure there is a way for you to come back into Her light, Crawly,” Aziraphale said, looking away shyly. 

“Perhaps the kiss of someone who is pure? A kiss from someone who still knows Her could bring light back into this black heart of mine?”

The words made Aziraphale blush. “A kiss?”

“Yes, a kiss. . . from an angel, perhaps?”

Their eyes met again, soft hazel meeting a wicked yellow. Their gazes traveled to each others soft lips. 

“You’re still playing with me,” Aziraphale accused. “You are here to tempt me and I won’t fall for it.” 

“You won’t even _try_ to save my wicked soul, angel?” Crawly asked, pouting. “What could be the harm in just one kiss?”

Aziraphale looked back down at the demon’s lips, still wet with apple juice. Just one kiss couldn’t cause any harm, could it? It probably wouldn’t work, but that’s the worse that could come from it. . . Aziraphale leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Crawly’s lips. He pulled back slowly and yellow eyes continued to stare back at his. 

“Any difference?” Crawly asked, a tinge of hope in his voice.

“I’m afraid not,” Aziraphale sighed. 

“Perhaps another?”

“You only want more kisses, tempter.”

“And you don’t?”

Aziraphale bit his lip. He could feel his resolve easily crumbling for this handsome demon. 

Crawly placed a careful hand on the side of his angel’s neck, thumb tracing his jawline. Already he considered this angel _his_. . . . It was said that demons could not love, but he had the feeling he could easily fall in love with this angel. Perhaps their kiss _had_ done something to him?

Aziraphale gave him another kiss, less chaste this time. Then another. Then the kisses blended together and time started to have little meaning. 

Crawly found the golden pin that kept Aziraphale’s robe in place. Nimble fingers undid the pin and the sheet started to fall. 

Aziraphale gasped and pulled away from Crawly. The apple he still somehow had a hold of dropped to the ground with a thud as his hands raced to keep the fabric from falling off completely. 

“Foul tempter!” Aziraphale spat. “You don’t want to be saved, you only want to make me fall!”

“The only thing falling is your robes,” Crawly smirked. “I feel it is more a sin to keep such beauty hidden.”

Aziraphale was pulled into another deep kiss before he could protest anymore. He melted into Crawly’s arms once more and wrapped his arms around the demon in favor of holding up the sheet that kept him modest. 

“It is a sin,” Aziraphale protested weakly against Crawly’s lips. 

“I believe the angel doth protest too much,” Crawly chuckled as his yellow eyes roamed downward. 

Aziraphale blushed realizing he was naked and pressed against one of the fallen.

“I think I know what can save my soul now,” Crawly breathed between pressing kisses to the angel’s soft neck. “Perhaps the _love_ of a beautiful angel?”

“You are not content with just my kisses, you want my whole heart, too?”

“I believe you already have what’s left of mine.”

Aziraphale felt himself being tugged downward to kneel on the soft ground. Crawly pulled him into his lap and wrapped his angel in his arms. 

One hand wandered downward to find Aziraphale’s entrance. . . and came upon something already there. 

Ezra saw Crowley start to break character upon finding his little surprise. 

“And here I thought angel’s were tight asses.”

They both burst into laughter, breaking the scene for a moment. 

“You’re a bastard, you know that?” Crowley grinned. “ _I’m_ supposed to be the bloody demon here, you forget?”

“I figured Crawly might be a bit. . . _impatient_ , so I did a little work in advance for him,” Ezra explained with a coy fluttering of lashes. 

“Mmm pretty sure he’s gonna thank you for that, yeah.”

Much like on their wedding day, they pressed their foreheads together to calm down and breath before continuing. 

“Well, what have we here?” Crawly asked, serpentine eyes hooded with lust. “Someone’s not the snow pure angel they pretend to be, hm?” He took hold of the plug’s base and gently tugged.

“It’s supposed to keep demons like you _out,_ ” Aziraphale explained, gripping Crawly’s shoulders. The feeling of the plug moving, tugging on his rim was certainly. . . pleasurable. . . “Oh, we _shouldn’t_. Crawly, _please_.”

“What are you begging for, angel?” the demon asked playfully, still moving the plug and watching Aziraphale squirm on his lap. “Want me to stop? Keep going? Take it out and fuck you like the needy thing you are?”

“I want--I _can’t_ , Crawly!” he whaled even as his grip grew tighter. “I can’t be defiled by a demon! I could fall!”  
Crawly pushed the plug in, pressing viciously against Aziraphale’s sweet spot. His head fell back, baring his throat as he moaned openly towards the sky. Crawly took advantage of that pale throat with open kisses and gentle bites. 

“But what do you _want_ , my angel?” he asked, letting up on the pressure so Aziraphale could answer. 

After a few deep breaths, Aziraphale looked into Crawly’s yellow eyes. The eyes of a demon. His immortal enemy. 

“ _You_ ,” he breathed. “I only want you, my love.”  
Aziraphale was pulled into a deep kiss. Gently, he felt the plug being pulled from his hole and he sighed in relief. Crawly reached to the side and found a vial of oil hidden under a leafy plant. He spread some on his fingers and checked Aziraphale’s now empty hole to be sure he was ready. 

“Your heart is mine, then?” Crawly asked against his angel’s lips. 

“Yes,” Aziraphale answered. “All yours. Heart, mind, body, soul--” he was cut off by a rough kiss. 

Then he heard the zip of Crawly undoing his trousers. Aziraphale felt himself being laid back and pressed into the soft ground. Crawly slowly pulled back and maneuvered Aziraphale onto his stomach. He pressed gentle kisses along the pale skin of his back. His hands ran down strong arms until they found his angel’s plump hands and wove their fingers together, holding him down with his weight. Aziraphale felt he should be panicking being held down by a demon, but he only felt _loved_. Then he felt himself being filled. Aziraphale couldn’t help but scream at the breach coupled with the feeling of Crawly biting into his shoulder. Crawly pried his teeth from the soft skin and kissed the mark left behind in apology. 

“So ssssweet, so beautiful,” Crawly hissed. His thrusts started slow and deep, almost worshipful of the pliant body beneath him. 

Aziraphale closed his eyes and enjoyed the weight on his back and the slow steady rhythm his demon had set. His sensitive cock was pressed into the ground with each thrust, but he could tell this pace wouldn’t be enough to make him come in the end. 

“One of Her most perfect creations. . . and I get to _ruin_ you,” Crawly growled into his ear. 

Aziraphale’s eyes widened as the words registered and he started to struggle. 

“This was all a trick then?” he asked, trying to untangle their hands. “You only want to ruin an angel?”

Crawly hushed him, pressing gentle kisses to his shoulders and the side of his face. He let go of Aziraphale’s hands to wrap around his chest and pull him close. Crowley leaned back and pulled Aziraphale with him, setting the angel in his lap. 

“Ssshhh, my angel,” he breathed, trying to calm Aziraphale. “My lovely, beautiful angel. . .” Crawly felt him relax into his hold once more and pressed a kiss by his ear. “ _Of coursssse_ it was a trick.”

Just like that, the slow and gentle lovemaking was gone. Crawly pushed Aziraphale back to the ground and held him down with a rough hand between his shoulders. Aziraphale reached back to grab at the demon but found his wrist captured by long fingers and his arm twisted back. 

“Knew you’d be the ssssweetest fuck when I saw you,” Crawly hissed. “Wanted your body but I didn’t expect to have your heart, mind, and soul, too.”

Aziraphale looked over his shoulder, meeting the demon’s eyes. 

“I suppose the question is: do I have yours as well?”

Crawly looked thrown by the question for a moment, yellow eyes searching soft hazel. The tight muscles of his arms even loosened and he let go of Aziraphale’ arm. He couldn’t help but press a soft kiss to his angel’s flushed cheek as he leaned down to whisper the next part in his ear. 

“You know you do.”

Aziraphale couldn’t help but smile broadly at the confirmation. This wasn’t just lust, no matter what the demon was trying to tell himself. 

Crawly leaned back and started pulling Aziraphale’s hips up so he was on his knees. Throughout all of the shifting Crawly had somehow been able to keep his cock inside of his angel. 

“You still want it, don’t you angel? You want to be fucked by a demon?”

“Oh, oh _yes_ ,” Aziraphale gasped. “Please, Cr-Crawly. . .”

“Please _what_ , angel?”

“ _Ruin me._ ” 

Crawly took just what he wanted with rough snaps of his hips and clawed hands gripping at pale skin. Every desperate thrust of Crawly’s hips hit Aziraphale just right and all he could do was take it and scream for more. What he had once considered an extensive vocabulary had been reduced to _yes_ and _more._

“You’re all mine now,” Crawly growled through sharp teeth. “Heaven won’t have an angel who gives everything they are to a demon.”

_Yes, that’s just what I want. To be yours. All yours._

Crawly looked down at where they were connected and enjoyed the sight of his cock moving in and out of his angel. He took a round cheek in each hand and spread him to get a better look at how perfectly they fit together. _Fuck_ that was a pretty sight, but it wasn’t going to last much longer. Crawly wished he could snap his fingers and make moments like this last as long as he wanted. 

Aziraphale felt a change in Crawly’s rhythm then and looked over his shoulder. Crawly gave a soft, choked off whimper (very unbecoming of a demon) and came buried deep inside of him. Instead of collapsing like he was sure Crawly wanted to do, Aziraphale felt himself being turned on his back. Crawly trailed kisses down Aziraphale’s body and took his cock into his mouth. Aziraphale smiled down at him and laced his now free hands in that long red hair. Crawly barely bobbed his head twice before Aziraphale came down his throat. 

Still riding on the high of his orgasm, Aziraphale felt himself being gathered in gentle arms and a warm sheet. A kiss was pressed to his forehead and he hummed to show his pleasure. 

“Alright there, Ezra?”

Ezra opened his eyes and smiled up at Crowley. Ah yes, _Crowley_. His husband. The man he’d married not but a few months ago. _Not_ a demon after his virtue. 

“Oh yes, just fine, dearest.”

“I wasn’t too rough on you?”

“You know you weren’t.”

Crowley huffed a laugh and bit his lip. 

“I broke character twice thanks to you.”

Ezra’s only answer was a flippant wave of his hand. Crowley caught that hand and kissed it. 

“Live up to the fantasy?”

“Oh, you _surpassed_ it, my love.”

~*~*~*~

Crowley curled up behind Ezra as he napped, wrapped in a white blanket. 

He had set up a clearing in his back room using a circle of small trees and leafy plants. He’d made it comfortable with a mat and some green blankets so they weren’t on the hard cement floor

It was rare that Ezra came to the back room of _Eden_ , he realized. The most notable time was before they were even together and Crowley had realized that Ezra was seeing someone else. Wasn’t that a funny thought: that there had been a time he and Ezra weren’t together. . .

Crowley pressed some kisses to Ezra’s bare shoulder, running gentle fingers down his arm. 

He was glad they could make happier memories back there now. . . and they had the rest of their lives to do it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They kept breaking character to be adorable. I have no control over these guys, I swear. . .

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't posted anything online in almost fifteen years so I hope you guys like.  
> Don't worry, they'll meet properly next chapter!


End file.
